Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
APPLICATION EXPERIENCE - THE PROCESS
I applied at HTMT yesterday, May 7, and I fortunately got a job offer however I'm still thinking whether I'll accept the offer or not. I want to share you the hiring process I went through just in case you're planning to apply at HTMT.
STEP 1: Initial Interview: Basically the interviewer just asked me to tell something about my self, which I am ready. She asked me to tell something about my educational background and work experience. The main strategy that I did on this stage is to maintain eye contact so that I can make the interviewer feel that I'm sincere with what I'm saying. On this stage the interviewer will ask all about the resume.
STEP 2: Reading Exercises: The interviewer handed me a piece of paper with three passage or paragraph in it. She then asked me to read the second and third paragraph. Tip! Read The Throng of Thermometer and The Vain VIP in our workbook. That is the exact passage that I read. So you may want to practice your TH and V sounds.
STEP 3: Written Exam: This is a two part written exam, grammar and abstract reasoning. They handed me a two folders that contain a questioners and answer sheet. I prefer to take the grammar exam first because I think it'll be faster and easier to finish but unexpectedly the grammar exam is not that easy. It is divided into two section. For the first section you are given a sentence and you have to identify whether the sentence is grammatically correct or wrong. It is a 20 item test. I am not really good in identifying grammatical error so this exam really is a nerve racking for me. For the second part of the grammar exam you'll be given a three sentences for each number you have to choose which sentence is best constructed in terms of grammar, punctuation and word usage. Take note that this three sentences use same sets of words. You just have to know which one is best constructed. Tip! Review your clauses and phrases. The second part of exam is abstract reasoning. It is divided into four parts. Just be observant and think rationally to be able to answer this exam. I can't give any tip here. You may want to practice on some online abstract test.
Step 4: Data Encoding: This is a computer-based exam. You have to key in some information such as name, address, company, email address, order number, contact number et cetera on form field. This is quite an easy task because we are trained to listen way back in BPO. So you should pass this easily.
Step 5: Call Simulation: They hand me back the paper where I read the TH and V words. And ask me to study the first passage. It is a script for call simulation. This is really easy because Ms. Rena trained us well in call simulation. And what they actually asked me is just to read the script over the phone. No irate customer or whatever. It's just like a simple call simulation- as in simple.
STEP 6: Final Interview: In this last stage I was interviewed by a panel composed of team leader, HR and operation manager. They will basically asked you some behavioral question like; how do you manage stress? Give me a certain situation where you have to do something that is unfamiliar to you and how were you able to manage it?
My last tip to those who want to apply at HTMT; just be confident and never be intimidated and of course pray and have faith.
-Ryan
STEP 1: Initial Interview: Basically the interviewer just asked me to tell something about my self, which I am ready. She asked me to tell something about my educational background and work experience. The main strategy that I did on this stage is to maintain eye contact so that I can make the interviewer feel that I'm sincere with what I'm saying. On this stage the interviewer will ask all about the resume.
STEP 2: Reading Exercises: The interviewer handed me a piece of paper with three passage or paragraph in it. She then asked me to read the second and third paragraph. Tip! Read The Throng of Thermometer and The Vain VIP in our workbook. That is the exact passage that I read. So you may want to practice your TH and V sounds.
STEP 3: Written Exam: This is a two part written exam, grammar and abstract reasoning. They handed me a two folders that contain a questioners and answer sheet. I prefer to take the grammar exam first because I think it'll be faster and easier to finish but unexpectedly the grammar exam is not that easy. It is divided into two section. For the first section you are given a sentence and you have to identify whether the sentence is grammatically correct or wrong. It is a 20 item test. I am not really good in identifying grammatical error so this exam really is a nerve racking for me. For the second part of the grammar exam you'll be given a three sentences for each number you have to choose which sentence is best constructed in terms of grammar, punctuation and word usage. Take note that this three sentences use same sets of words. You just have to know which one is best constructed. Tip! Review your clauses and phrases. The second part of exam is abstract reasoning. It is divided into four parts. Just be observant and think rationally to be able to answer this exam. I can't give any tip here. You may want to practice on some online abstract test.
Step 4: Data Encoding: This is a computer-based exam. You have to key in some information such as name, address, company, email address, order number, contact number et cetera on form field. This is quite an easy task because we are trained to listen way back in BPO. So you should pass this easily.
Step 5: Call Simulation: They hand me back the paper where I read the TH and V words. And ask me to study the first passage. It is a script for call simulation. This is really easy because Ms. Rena trained us well in call simulation. And what they actually asked me is just to read the script over the phone. No irate customer or whatever. It's just like a simple call simulation- as in simple.
STEP 6: Final Interview: In this last stage I was interviewed by a panel composed of team leader, HR and operation manager. They will basically asked you some behavioral question like; how do you manage stress? Give me a certain situation where you have to do something that is unfamiliar to you and how were you able to manage it?
My last tip to those who want to apply at HTMT; just be confident and never be intimidated and of course pray and have faith.
-Ryan
NICE LINK FOR ENGLISH ACCENT TRAINING
http://www.scribd.com/doc/4018113/Speech-Training
http://www.englishtap.com/etlw/pron/44sounds/mother.htm - THE LINK FOR TH SOUND
http://nytshifter.blogspot.com/ - EXAMPLE OF CALLS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XuKcOy28KFA - YOU CAN LISTEN TO THIS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qR-IhZJOq3U&feature=fvwrel - INTERVIEW SAMPLE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3L3V5hg4QDE&feature=fvwrel - INTEVIEW QUESTIONS ANSWERED
http://www.englishtap.com/etlw/pron/44sounds/mother.htm - THE LINK FOR TH SOUND
http://nytshifter.blogspot.com/ - EXAMPLE OF CALLS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XuKcOy28KFA - YOU CAN LISTEN TO THIS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qR-IhZJOq3U&feature=fvwrel - INTERVIEW SAMPLE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3L3V5hg4QDE&feature=fvwrel - INTEVIEW QUESTIONS ANSWERED
SOFT SKILLS VS HARD SKILLS
Soft skills are personal attributes that enhance an individual's interactions, job performance and career prospects. Unlike hard skills, which are about a person's skill set and ability to perform a certain type of task or activity, soft skills are interpersonal and broadly applicable.
LEARN MORE
Staffing
IT careers
Careers
Soft skills are often described by using terms often associated with personality traits, such as:
optimism
common sense
responsibility
a sense of humor
integrity
and abilities that can be practiced (but require the individual to genuinely like other people) such as:
empathy
teamwork
leadership
communication
good manners
negotiation
sociability
the ability to teach.
It's often said that hard skills will get you an interview but you need soft skills to get (and keep) the job.
LEARN MORE
Staffing
IT careers
Careers
Soft skills are often described by using terms often associated with personality traits, such as:
optimism
common sense
responsibility
a sense of humor
integrity
and abilities that can be practiced (but require the individual to genuinely like other people) such as:
empathy
teamwork
leadership
communication
good manners
negotiation
sociability
the ability to teach.
It's often said that hard skills will get you an interview but you need soft skills to get (and keep) the job.
WORDS TO BROADEN YOUR VOCABULARY
JARGON
VERBATIM
REBUT
QUEUE A queue is a number of calls that are waiting to be answered by agents. The queue is the "line up" where incoming calls wait until they are answered.
VERBATIM
REBUT
QUEUE A queue is a number of calls that are waiting to be answered by agents. The queue is the "line up" where incoming calls wait until they are answered.
ENGLISH TONGUE TWISTERS
1
Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.
A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked.
If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,
Where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?
2
I saw Susie sitting in a shoe shine shop.
Where she sits she shines, and where she shines she sits.
3
How many boards
Could the Mongols hoard
If the Mongol hordes got bored?
from the comic Calvin & Hobbes, by Bill Waterson
4
How can a clam cram in a clean cream can?
5
Send toast to ten tense stout saints' ten tall tents.
by Raymond Weisling
6
Denise sees the fleece,
Denise sees the fleas.
At least Denise could sneeze
and feed and freeze the fleas.
7
Coy knows pseudonoise codes.
by Pierre Abbat
8
Sheena leads, Sheila needs.
9
The thirty-three thieves thought that they thrilled the throne throughout Thursday.
10
Something in a thirty-acre thermal thicket of thorns and thistles thumped and thundered threatening the three-D thoughts of Matthew the thug - although, theatrically, it was only the thirteen-thousand thistles and thorns through the underneath of his thigh that the thirty year old thug thought of that morning.
by Meaghan Desbiens
11
Can you can a can as a canner can can a can?
12
Seth at Sainsbury's sells thick socks.
13
You cuss, I cuss, we all cuss, for asparagus!
from a Far Side cartoon by Gary Larson
14
Roberta ran rings around the Roman ruins.
15
Clean clams crammed in clean cans.
16
Six sick hicks nick six slick bricks with picks and sticks.
17
I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.
18
Stupid superstition!
19
There was a fisherman named Fisher
who fished for some fish in a fissure.
Till a fish with a grin,
pulled the fisherman in.
Now they're fishing the fissure for Fisher.
20
World Wide Web
21
To sit in solemn silence in a dull, dark dock,
In a pestilential prison, with a life-long lock,
Awaiting the sensation of a short, sharp shock,
From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block!
To sit in solemn silence in a dull, dark dock,
In a pestilential prison, with a life-long lock,
Awaiting the sensation of a short, sharp shock,
From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block!
A dull, dark dock, a life-long lock,
A short, sharp shock, a big black block!
To sit in solemn silence in a pestilential prison,
And awaiting the sensation
From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block!
by W.S. Gilbert of Gilbert and Sullivan from The Mikado
22
Picky people pick Peter Pan Peanut-Butter, 'tis the peanut-butter picky people pick.
from a commercial
23
If Stu chews shoes, should Stu choose the shoes he chews?
24
Luke Luck likes lakes.
Luke's duck likes lakes.
Luke Luck licks lakes.
Luck's duck licks lakes.
Duck takes licks in lakes Luke Luck likes.
Luke Luck takes licks in lakes duck likes.
from Dr. Seuss' Fox in Socks
25
Seventy seven benevolent elephants
harder than it seems
26
There those thousand thinkers were thinking how did the other three thieves go through.
27
Santa's Short Suit Shrunk
name of a children's book
28
I was born on a pirate ship
Hold your tounge while saying it.
29
I scream, you scream, we all scream for icecream!
30
Wayne went to Wales to watch walruses.
31
In 'ertford, 'ereford and 'ampshire, 'urricanes 'ardly Hever 'appen.
from the film "My Fair Lady"
32
One-one was a race horse.
Two-two was one too.
One-one won one race.
Two-two won one too.
33
Eleven benevolent elephants
34
Celibate celebrant, celibate celebrant, celibate celebrant, ...
35
Willy's real rear wheel
David Bowser in Harrisburg, PA
36
If Pickford's packers packed a packet of crisps would the packet of crisps that Pickford's packers packed survive for two and a half years?
from Naomi Fletcher's real life
37
Six sleek swans swam swiftly southwards
38
Gobbling gorgoyles gobbled gobbling goblins.
39
Did Dick Pickens prick his pinkie pickling cheap cling peaches in an inch of Pinch or framing his famed French finch photos?
40
Pirates Private Property
41
What a terrible tongue twister,
what a terrible tongue twister,
what a terrible tongue twister...
42
When you write copy you have the right to copyright the copy you write. ...
continued here
43
A big black bug bit a big black dog on his big black nose!
by Kitty Morrow
44
Elizabeth's birthday is on the third Thursday of this month.
45
Ann and Andy's anniversary is in April.
46
Flash message!
47
Frogfeet, flippers, swimfins.
48
Hassock hassock, black spotted hassock. Black spot on a black back of a black spotted hassock.
49
How many cookies could a good cook cook If a good cook could cook cookies? A good cook could cook as much cookies as a good cook who could cook cookies.
50
How much ground would a groundhog hog, if a groundhog could hog ground? A groundhog would hog all the ground he could hog, if a groundhog could hog ground.
51
How much pot, could a pot roast roast, if a pot roast could roast pot.
52
How much wood could Chuck Woods' woodchuck chuck, if Chuck Woods' woodchuck could and would chuck wood? If Chuck Woods' woodchuck could and would chuck wood, how much wood could and would Chuck Woods' woodchuck chuck? Chuck Woods' woodchuck would chuck, he would, as much as he could, and chuck as much wood as any woodchuck would, if a woodchuck could and would chuck wood.
53
Mary Mac's mother's making Mary Mac marry me.
My mother's making me marry Mary Mac.
Will I always be so Merry when Mary's taking care of me?
Will I always be so merry when I marry Mary Mac?
from a song by Carbon Leaf
54
Mr. Tongue Twister tried to train his tongue to twist and turn, and twit an twat, to learn the letter "T".
55
Pete's pa pete poked to the pea patch to pick a peck of peas for the poor pink pig in the pine hole pig-pen.
56
She saw Sherif's shoes on the sofa. But was she so sure she saw Sherif's shoes on the sofa?
57
Through three cheese trees three free fleas flew.
While these fleas flew, freezy breeze blew.
Freezy breeze made these three trees freeze.
Freezy trees made these trees' cheese freeze.
That's what made these three free fleas sneeze.
from Fox in Sox by Dr. Seuss
58
Two tried and true tridents
59
rudder valve reversals
the cause of some plane crashes
60
Birdie birdie in the sky laid a turdie in my eye.
If cows could fly I'd have a cow pie in my eye.
61
How many cans can a cannibal nibble
if a cannibal can nibble cans?
As many cans as a cannibal can nibble
if a cannibal can nibble cans.
62
Thirty-three thirsty, thundering thoroughbreds thumped Mr. Thurber on Thursday.
63
Four furious friends fought for the phone.
64
Plymouth sleuths thwart Luther's slithering.
65
Bobby Bippy bought a bat.
Bobby Bippy bought a ball.
With his bat Bob banged the ball
Banged it bump against the wall
But so boldly Bobby banged it
That he burst his rubber ball
"Boo!" cried Bobby
Bad luck ball
Bad luck Bobby, bad luck ball
Now to drown his many troubles
Bobby Bippy's blowing bubbles.
from mid-Willamette Valley theater
66
Black background, brown background.
67
Why do you cry, Willy?
Why do you cry?
Why, Willy?
Why, Willy?
Why, Willy? Why?
68
Very well, very well, very well ...
69
Tie twine to three tree twigs.
70
Rory the warrior and Roger the worrier were reared wrongly in a rural brewery.
71
Mares eat oats and does eat oats,
and little lambs eat ivy.
A Kid will eat ivy too, wouldn't you?
72
Three short sword sheaths.
73
Caution: Wide Right Turns
seen on semi-tractor trailers
74
Rolling red wagons
75
Green glass globes glow greenly.
76
Robert Wayne Rutter
personal name
77
I stood sadly on the silver steps of Burgess's fish sauce shop, mimicking him hiccuping, and wildly welcoming him within.
78
As I was in Arkansas I saw a saw that could out saw any saw I ever saw saw. If you happen to be in Arkansas and see a saw that can out saw the saw I saw saw I'd like to see the saw you saw saw.
79
black back bat
80
The queen in green screamed.
81
How many berries could a bare berry carry,
if a bare berry could carry berries?
Well they can't carry berries
(which could make you very wary)
but a bare berry carried is more scary!
82
What did you have for breakfast?
- rubber balls and liquor!
What did you have for lunch?
- rubber balls and liquor!
What did you have for dinner?
- rubber balls and liquor!
What do you do when your sister comes home?
- rubber balls and liquor!
83
Snap Crackel pop,
Snap Crackel pop,
Snap Crackel pop
84
Six slimy snails sailed silently.
85
I thought, I thought of thinking of thanking you.
86
Seven slick slimey snakes slowly sliding southward.
87
Red Buick, blue Buick
88
Roofs of mushrooms rarely mush too much.
by Matt Duchnowski
89
He threw three balls.
90
The great Greek grape growers grow great Greek grapes.
91
Singing Sammy sung songs on sinking sand.
92
We're real rear wheels.
93
Rhys watched Ross switch his Irish wristwatch for a Swiss wristwatch.
94
I wish to wash my Irish wristwatch.
95
Near an ear, a nearer ear, a nearly eerie ear.
96
On a lazy laser raiser lies a laser ray eraser.
97
Scissors sizzle, thistles sizzle.
98
Tom threw Tim three thumbtacks.
99
How much caramel can a canny canonball cram in a camel if a canny canonball can cram caramel in a camel?
100
He threw three free throws.
101
Fresh French fried fly fritters
102
Gig whip, gig whip, gig whip, ...
103
I was born on a pirate ship.
Say it while holding your tongue.
104
2 Y's U R.
2 Y's U B.
I C U R.
2 Y's 4 me!
105
Little Mike left his bike like Tike at Spike's.
106
Eddie edited it.
107
Yellow butter, purple jelly, red jam, black bread.
Spread it thick, say it quick!
Yellow butter, purple jelly, red jam, black bread.
Spread it thicker, say it quicker!
Yellow butter, purple jelly, red jam, black bread.
Don't eat with your mouth full!
108
Wow, race winners really want red wine right away!
109
The ruddy widow really wants ripe watermelon and red roses when winter arrives.
110
I'll chew and chew until my jaws drop.
111
Triple Dickle
a strong drink
112
How many sheets could a sheet slitter slit if a sheet slitter could slit sheets?
113
Supposed to be pistachio,
supposed to be pistachio,
supposed to be pistachio.
by Diane Estep
114
Chester Cheetah chews a chunk of cheep cheddar cheese.
from a high school singing class
115
Real rock wall, real rock wall, real rock wall
116
Argyle Gargoyle
117
Peggy Babcock, Peggy Babcock, Peggy Babcock, ...
personal name
118
If you're keen on stunning kites and cunning stunts,
buy a cunning stunning stunt kite.
119
Two tiny tigers take two taxis to town.
120
Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds.
by Pierre Abbat
121
Willie's really weary.
122
Yally Bally had a jolly golliwog. Feeling folly, Yally Bally Bought his jolly golli' a dollie made of holly! The golli', feeling jolly, named the holly dollie, Polly. So Yally Bally's jolly golli's holly dollie Polly's also jolly!
by Mistah Twistah, Tony Valuch
123
Out in the pasture the nature watcher watches the catcher. While the catcher watches the pitcher who pitches the balls. Whether the temperature's up or whether the temperature's down, the nature watcher, the catcher and the pitcher are always around. The pitcher pitches, the catcher catches and the watcher watches. So whether the temperature's rises or whether the temperature falls the nature watcher just watches the catcher who's watching the pitcher who's watching the balls.
by Sharon Johnson
124
Tommy Tucker tried to tie Tammy's Turtles tie.
125
John, where Peter had had "had had", had had "had";
"had had" had had his master's approval.
126
Excited executioner exercising his excising powers excessively.
127
Pail of ale aiding ailing Al's travails.
from India
128
Double bubble gum, bubbles double.
129
If you can't can any candy can,
how many candy cans can a candy canner can
if he can can candy cans ?
130
Octopus ocular optics.
and
A cat snaps a rat's paxwax.
by Pierre Abbat
131
This is the sixth zebra snoozing thoroughly.
132
Salty broccoli, salty broccoli, salty broccoli ....
133
I saw Esau kissing Kate.
I saw Esau, he saw me, and she saw I saw Esau.
134
A slimey snake slithered down the sandy sahara.
135
Suzie Seaword's fish-sauce shop sells unsifted thistles for thistle-sifters to sift.
136
I eat eel while you peel eel
137
Nothing is worth thousands of deaths.
138
Casual clothes are provisional for leisurely trips across Asia.
139
East Fife Four, Forfar Five
an actual football result from the Scottish third division
140
Roy Wayne
Roy Rogers
Roy Rash
personal names
141
11 was a racehorse,
22 was 12,
1111 race,
22112.
Wunwun was a racehorse, Tutu was one too. Wunwun won one race, Tutu won one too.
142
It's not the cough that carries you off,
it's the coffin they carry you off in!
143
She said she should sit.
144
Mo mi mo me send me a toe,
Me me mo mi get me a mole,
Mo mi mo me send me a toe,
Fe me mo mi get me a mole,
Mister kister feet so sweet,
Mister kister where will I eat !?
145
Will you, William? Will you, William? Will you, William?
Can't you, don't you, won't you, William?
146
I wish you were a fish in my dish
147
She stood on the balcony, inexplicably mimicking him hiccuping, and amicably welcoming him in.
an actor's vocal warmup for lips and tongue
148
The big black bug bit the big black bear,
but the big black bear bit the big black bug back!
149
Dust is a disk's worst enemy.
150
I see a sea down by the seashore.
But which sea do you see down by the seashore?
151
Old Mr. Hunt
had a cuddy punt
Not a cuddy punt
but a hunt punt cuddy.
152
As one black bug, bled blue, black blood. The other black bug bled blue.
153
Mommy made me eat my M&Ms.
154
I'm not the fig plucker,
nor the fig plucker's son,
but I'll pluck figs
till the fig plucker comes.
155
A gazillion gigantic grapes gushed
gradually giving gophers gooey guts.
156
Aluminum, linoleum, molybdenum, aluminum, linoleum, molybdenum, aluminum, linoleum, molybdenum
157
Thin grippy thick slippery.
158
A tree toad loved a she-toad,
Who lived up in a tree.
He was a three-toed tree toad,
But a two-toed toad was she.
The three-toed tree toad tried to win,
The two-toed she-toad's heart,
For the three-toed tree toad loved the ground,
That the two-toed tree toad trod.
But the three-toed tree toad tried in vain.
He couldn't please her whim.
From her tree toad bower,
With her two-toed power,
The she-toad vetoed him.
159
The owner of the inside inn was inside his inside inn with his inside outside his inside inn.
160
If you notice this notice,
you will notice that this notice is not worth noticing.
161
If you understand, say "understand".
If you don't understand, say "don't understand".
But if you understand and say "don't understand".
how do I understand that you understand. Understand!?
162
She sees cheese.
163
Brent Spence Bridge
Clay Wade Bailey Bridge
places in Ohio
164
Chukotko-Kamchatkan
pertaining to the Siberian people living in Kamchatka
165
There those thousand thinkers were thinking
where did those other three thieves go through.
166
Five frantic frogs fled from fifty fierce fishes.
167
One smart fellow, he felt smart.
Two smart fellows, they felt smart.
Three smart fellows, they felt smart.
Four smart fellows, they felt smart.
Five smart fellows, they felt smart.
Six smart fellows, they felt smart.
168
Seven sleazy shysters in sharkskin suits sold sheared sealskins to seasick sailors.
169
I would if I could! But I can't, so I won't!
170
But a harder thing still to do.
What a to do to die today
At a quarter or two to two.
A terrible difficult thing to say
But a harder thing still to do.
The dragon will come at the beat of the drum
With a rat-a-tat-tat a-tat-tat a-tat-to
At a quarter or two to two today,
At a quarter or two to two.
from a college drama class
171
Love's a feeling you feel when you feel
you're going to feel the feeling you've never felt before.
172
Silly sheep weep and sleep.
173
Truly rural, truly rural, truly rural, ...
174
A turbot's not a burbot, for a turbot's a butt, but a burbot's not.
175
I know a boy named Tate
who dined with his girl at eight eight.
I'm unable to state what Tate ate at eight eight
or what Tate's tête à tête ate at eight eight.
176
The seething sea ceaseth; thus the seething sea sufficeth us.
The seething sea ceaseth and thus the seething sea sufficeth us.
177
Real weird rear wheels
by Michael Dworkin and Bill Harvey
178
I slit a sheet, a sheet I slit, upon a slitted sheet I sit.
179
A pessimistic pest exists amidst us.
180
Knife and a fork bottle and a cork
that is the way you spell New York.
Chicken in the car and the car can go,
that is the way you spell Chicago.
181
Five fuzzy French frogs Frolicked through the fields in France.
182
Two to two to Toulouse?
183
Swatch watch
184
Dr. Johnson and Mr. Johnson, after great consideration, came to the conclusion that the Indian nation beyond the Indian Ocean is back in education because the chief occupation is cultivation.
185
Round and round the rugged rock the ragged rascal ran.
186
Buckets of bug blood, buckets of bug blood, buckets of bug blood
187
I'm a sock cutter and I cut socks.
I'm a sock cutter and I cut socks.
I'm a sock cutter and I cut socks.
188
If coloured caterpillars could change their colours constantly could they keep their coloured coat coloured properly?
189
We won, we won, we won, we won, ...
190
Thirty-three thousand people think that Thursday is their thirtieth birthday.
by Julia Dicum
191
How much ground could a grounghog grind if a groundhog could grind ground?
192
How may saws could a see-saw saw if a see-saw could saw saws?
by Jillian Goetz
193
As he gobbled the cakes on his plate,
the greedy ape said as he ate,
the greener green grapes are,
the keener keen apes are
to gobble green grape cakes,
they're great!
from Dr. Seuss's O Say Can You Say?
194
How much myrtle would a wood turtle hurdle if a wood turtle could hurdle myrtle?
A wood turtle would hurdle as much myrtle as a wood turtle could hurdle if a wood turtle could hurdle myrtle.
195
Shut up the shutters and sit in the shop.
196
Rattle your bottles in Rollocks' van.
197
A fly and flea flew into a flue,
said the fly to the flea 'what shall we do?'
'let us fly' said the flea
said the fly 'shall we flee'
so they flew through a flaw in the flue.
198
How much dew does a dewdrop drop
If dewdrops do drop dew?
They do drop, they do
As do dewdrops drop
If dewdrops do drop dew.
199
If Kantie can tie a tie and untie a tie,
why can't I tie a tie and untie a tie like Kantie can.
200
Bake big batches of bitter brown bread.
201
But she as far surpasseth Sycorax,
As great'st does least.
Caliban describing Miranda's beauty in "The Tempest", by William Shakespeare
202
Bake big batches of brown blueberry bread.
203
She sits in her slip and sips Schlitz.
204
Which wristwatch is a Swiss wristwatch?
205
Whoever slit the sheets is a good sheet slitter.
206
Mummies make money.
207
Crush grapes, grapes crush, crush grapes.
208
An elephant was asphyxiated in the asphalt.
209
A black bloke's back brake-block broke.
210
This is a zither.
211
Fresh fried fish,
Fish fresh fried,
Fried fish fresh,
Fish fried fresh.
212
There was a minimum of cinnamon in the aluminum pan.
213
Really leery, rarely Larry.
214
Big black bugs bleed blue black blood but baby black bugs bleed blue blood.
215
Elizabeth has eleven elves in her elm tree.
216
Her whole right hand really hurts.
difficult in Brazil
217
Come, come,
Stay calm, stay calm,
No need for alarm,
It only hums,
It doesn't harm.
218
Tie a knot, tie a knot.
Tie a tight, tight knot.
Tie a knot in the shape of a nought.
219
Red blood, green blood
220
I'm a sheet slitter.
I slit sheets.
I'm the sleekest sheet slitter
that ever slit sheets.
221
Busy buzzing bumble bees.
222
A lump of red leather, a red leather lump
223
Nat the bat swat at Matt the gnat.
224
I shot the city sheriff.
I shot the city sheriff.
I shot the city sheriff.
225
A lady sees a pot-mender at work at his barrow in the street.
"Are you copper-bottoming 'em, man?"
"No, I'm aluminiuming 'em, Mam."
226
I am not a pheasant plucker,
I'm a pheasant plucker's son
but I'll be plucking pheasants
When the pheasant plucker's gone.
227
Suzie, Suzie, working in a shoeshine shop.
All day long she sits and shines,
all day long she shines and sits,
and sits and shines, and shines and sits,
and sits and shines, and shines and sits.
Suzie, Suzie, working in a shoeshine shop.
Tommy, Tommy, toiling in a tailor's shop.
All day long he fits and tucks,
all day long he tucks and fits,
and fits and tucks, and tucks and fits,
and fits and tucks, and tucks and fits.
Tommy, Tommy, toiling in a tailor's shop.
sung by Ian Mackintosh
228
Preshrunk silk shirts.
229
Craig Quinn's quick trip to Crabtree Creek.
230
Six shining cities, six shining cities, six shining cities.
231
While we were walking, we were watching window washers wash Washington's windows with warm washing water.
232
A big black bear sat on a big black bug.
233
A bloke's bike back brake block broke.
234
Sweet sagacious Sally Sanders said she sure saw seven segregated seaplanes sailing swiftly southward Saturday.
235
Betty Botter bought some butter but, said she, the butter's bitter.
If I put it in my batter, it will make my batter bitter.
But a bit of better butter will make my bitter batter better.
So she bought some better butter, better than the bitter butter,
put it in her bitter batter, made her bitter batter better.
So 't was better Betty Botter bought some better butter.
Betty Botter bought a bit of butter.
The butter Betty Botter bought was a bit bitter
And made her batter bitter.
But a bit of better butter makes better batter.
So Betty Botter bought a bit of better butter
Making Betty Botter's bitter batter better
236
How much oil boil can a gum boil boil if a gum boil can boil oil?
237
Good blood, bad blood, good blood, bad blood, good blood, bad blood.
238
No nose knows like a gnome's nose knows.
by the Hofman family
239
Freshly fried fresh flesh
240
There are two minutes difference from four to two to two to two, from two to two to two, too.
241
There once was a man who had a sister, his name was Mr. Fister. Mr. Fister's sister sold sea shells by the sea shore. Mr. Fister didn't sell sea shells, he sold silk sheets. Mr. Fister told his sister that he sold six silk sheets to six shieks. The sister of Mr. Fister said I sold six shells to six shieks too!
242
Sally sells sea shells by the sea shore. But if Sally sells sea shells by the sea shore then where are the sea shells Sally sells?
243
She stood on the steps of Burgess's Fish Sauce Shop, mimicking him hiccuping and amicably welcoming him in.
244
Swan swam over the sea.
Swim, swan, swim!
Swan swam back again.
Well swum swan!
245
Sally is a sheet slitter, she slits sheets.
246
She sells seashells on the seashore;
The shells she sells are seashells, I'm sure.
So if she sells seashells on the seashore,
Then I'm sure that the shells are seashore shells.
247
You know New York.
You need New York.
You know you need unique New York.
248
What noise annoys an oyster most?
A noisy noise annoys an oyster most.
249
Ripe white wheat reapers reap ripe white wheat right.
250
Blake's black bike's back brake bracket block broke.
251
Each Easter Eddie eats eighty Easter eggs.
252
She slits the sheet she sits on.
253
A rough-coated, dough-faced, thoughtful ploughman strode through the streets of Scarborough; after falling into a slough, he coughed and hiccoughed.
254
A twister of twists once twisted a twist.
and the twist that he twisted was a three-twisted twist.
now in twisting this twist,
if a twist should untwist,
would the twist that untwisted untwist the twists?
255
Red lolly, yellow lolly.
256
Mrs Hunt had a country cut front
in the front of her country cut pettycoat.
257
Knapsack strap.
258
John, where Molly had had "had", had had "had had". "Had had " had had the teachers approval
259
Miss Smith's fish-sauce shop seldom sells shellfish.
260
Great gray goats
261
Whether the weather be fine
or whether the weather be not.
Whether the weather be cold
or whether the weather be hot.
We'll weather the weather
whether we like it or not.
262
Sunshine city, sunshine city, sunshine city, ...
263
The batter with the butter is the batter that is better!
264
There's a sandwich on the sand which was sent by a sane witch.
265
How many yaks could a yak pack pack if a yak pack could pack yaks?
266
Twelve twins twirled twelve twigs.
267
If you stick a stock of liquor in your locker
it is slick to stick a lock upon your stock
or some joker who is slicker
is going to trick you of your liquor
if you fail to lock your liquor with a lock.
268
Clowns grow glowing crowns.
269
Can you imagine an imaginary menagerie manager
imagining managing an imaginary menagerie?
270
Sister Suzie sewing shirts for soldiers
Such skill as sewing shirts
Our shy young sister Suzie shows
Some soldiers send epistles
Say they'd rather sleep in thistles
Than the saucy, soft short shirts for soldiers Sister Suzie sews.
271
Red leather, yellow leather, ...
272
IF IF = THEN THEN THEN = ELSE ELSE ELSE = IF;
programming language PL/I by Bruce Walker
273
Announcement at Victoria Station, London:
Two to two to Tooting too!
274
Richard's wretched ratchet wrench.
275
Rugged rubber baby buggy bumpers.
276
A box of biscuits,
a box of mixed biscuits,
and a biscuit mixer.
277
When a doctor doctors a doctor,
does the doctor doing the doctoring
doctor as the doctor being doctored wants to be doctored or
does the doctor doing the doctoring doctor as he wants to doctor?
If one-doctor doctors another doctor, does the doctor who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does he doctor the doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors?
278
What to do to die today at a minute or two to two. A terribly difficult thing to say and a harder thing to do. A dragon will come and beat his drum Ra-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-too at a minute or two to two today. At a minute or two to two.
Who is the author?
279
If two witches would watch two watches, which witch would watch which watch?
280
The soldier's shoulder surely hurts!
281
She sees seas slapping shores.
282
A loyal warrior will rarely worry why we rule.
by Ray Weisling
283
Greek grapes.
284
Mr. See owned a saw and Mr Soar owned a seesaw.
Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw before Soar saw See.
285
Six sick sea-serpents swam the seven seas.
286
There was a little witch which switched from Chichester to Ipswich.
287
A proper cup of coffee from a proper copper coffee pot.
288
Don't trouble trouble, until trouble troubles you! If you trouble trouble, triple trouble troubles you!
289
Theophilus Thadeus Thistledown, the succesful thistle-sifter, while sifting a sieve-full of unsifted thistles, thrust three thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb. Now, if Theophilus Thadeus Thistledown, the succesful thistle-sifter, thrust three thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb, see that thou, while sifting a sieve-full of unsifted thistles, thrust not three thousand thistles through the thick of thy thumb.
Theopholis Thistle, the successful thistle sifter, while sifting a sieve full of unsifted thistles thrust three thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb. Now, if Theopholis Thistle, the successful thistle sifter, while sifting a sieve full of unsifted thistles thrust three thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb seeist that thou when sifting a sieve full of unsifted thistles thrust NOT three thousand thistles through the thick of thy thumb! Success to the successful thistle sifter!
290
Shoe section, shoe section, shoe section, ...
291
A smart fella, a fella smart.
It takes a smart fella to say a fella smart.
292
She is a thistle-sifter. She has a sieve of unsifted thistles and a sieve of sifted thistles and the sieve of unsifted thistles she sifts into the sieve of sifted thistles because she is a thistle-sifter.
293
Admidst the mists and coldest frosts,
With stoutest wrists and loudest boasts,
He thrusts his fists against the posts,
And still insists he sees the ghosts.
294
Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear,
Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair,
Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy,
was he?
295
Blue glue gun, green glue gun.
296
Toy boat, toy boat, toy boat, ...
297
Mallory's hourly salary.
298
I slit a sheet, a sheet I slit, and on that slitted sheet I sit.
299
Don't spring on the inner-spring this spring or there will be an offspring next spring.
300
A flea and a fly in a flue,
were imprisoned. So what could they do?
Said the fly, "Let us flee".
Said the flea, "Let us fly".
So they flew through a flaw in the flue.
301
King Thistle stuck a thousand thistles in the thistle of his thumb.
A thousand thistles King Thistle stuck in the thistle of his thumb.
If King Thistle stuck a thousand thistles in the thistle of his thumb,
How many thistles did King Thistle stick in the thistle of his thumb?
302
Five fat friars frying flat fish.
303
The bottle of perfume that Willy sent
was highly displeasing to Millicent.
Her thanks were so cold
that they quarreled, I'm told
o'er that silly scent Willy sent Millicent
304
Esau Wood sawed wood. All the wood Esau Wood saw, Esau Wood would saw. All the wood Wood saw, Esau sought to saw. One day Esau Wood's wood-saw would saw no wood. So Esau Wood sought a new wood-saw. The new wood-saw would saw wood. Oh, the wood Esau Wood would saw. Esau sought a saw that would saw wood as no other wood-saw would saw. And Esau found a saw that would saw as no other wood-saw would saw. And Esau Wood sawed wood.
305
A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk,
but the stump thunk the skunk stunk.
306
Extinct insects' instincts, extant insects' instincts.
by Pierre Abbat
307
Sweater weather, leather weather.
308
One black beetle bled only black blood, the other black beetle bled blue.
309
The big black bug's blood ran blue.
310
I am not the pheasant plucker,
I'm the pheasant plucker's mate.
I am only plucking pheasants
'cause the pheasant plucker's late.
311
Ed Nott was shot and Sam Shott was not. So it is better to be Shott than Nott. Some say Nott was not shot. But Shott says he shot Nott. Either the shot Shott shot at Nott was not shot, or Nott was shot. If the shot Shott shot shot Nott, Nott was shot. But if the shot Shott shot shot Shott, the shot was Shott, not Nott. However, the shot Shott shot shot not Shott - but Nott. So, Ed Nott was shot and that's hot! Is it not?
312
We will learn why her lowly lone, worn yarn loom will rarely earn immoral money.
by Ray Weisling
313
Unique New York, unique New York, unique New York, ...
314
If Dr. Seuss Were a Technical Writer.....
Here's an easy game to play.
Here's an easy thing to say:
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!
If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!
You can't say this? What a shame, sir!
We'll find you another game, sir.
If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!
When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risk,
Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to ram your rom.
Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!
from the Unix fortune database, attributed to DementDJ@ccip.perkin-elmer.com in the rec.humor.funny newsgroup
315
Picky people pick Peter Pan Peanut Butter.
Peter Pan Peanut is the peanut picky people pick.
316
Ray Rag ran across a rough road.
Across a rough road Ray Rag ran.
Where is the rough road Ray Rag ran across?
317
Elmer Arnold
personal name
318
A Tudor who tooted the flute
tried to tutor two tooters to toot.
Said the two to the tutor,
"Is it harder to toot or
to tutor two tooters to toot?"
319
Mrs Puggy Wuggy has a square cut punt.
Not a punt cut square,
Just a square cut punt.
It's round in the stern and blunt in the front.
Mrs Puggy Wuggy has a square cut punt.
320
Tim, the thin twin tinsmith.
321
Thin sticks, thick bricks
322
Red lorry, yellow lorry.
323
A big black bug bit a big black bear and made the big black bear bleed blood.
324
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood? A woodchuck would chuck how much a woodchuck would chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood.
325
Larry Hurley, a burly squirrel hurler, hurled a furry squirrel through a curly grill.
326
Six twin screwed steel steam cruisers.
327
A nurse anesthetist unearthed a nest.
328
I thought a thought.
But the thought I thought
Wasn't the thought I thought I thought.
If the thought I thought I thought,
Had been the thought I thought,
I wouldn't have thought I thought.
329
She sells sea shells on the seashore.
The seashells she sells are seashells she is sure.
330
From the programmer's desk:
She sells cshs by the C shore.
331
A noise annoys an oyster, but a noisy noise annoys an oyster more!
332
Plain bun, plum bun, bun without plum.
333
Slick slim slippers sliding south.
334
The Leith police dismisseth us
They thought we sought to stay;
The Leith police dismisseth us
They thought we'd stay all day.
The Leith police dismisseth us,
We both sighed sighs apiece;
And the sighs that we sighed as we said goodbye
Were the size of the Leith police.
335
Ah shucks, six stick shifts stuck shut!
336
Meter maid Mary married manly Matthew Marcus Mayo,
a moody male mailman moving mostly metered mail.
337
The king would sing, about a ring that would go ding.
338
How much dough would Bob Dole dole
if Bob Dole could dole dough?
Bob Dole would dole as much dough
as Bob Dole could dole,
if Bob Dole could dole dough.
339
People pledging plenty of pennies.
340
Mares eat oats and does eat oats, but little lambs eat ivy.
from a pre-war English music-hall song
341
To begin to toboggan,
first buy a toboggan.
But don't buy too big a toboggan.
Too big a toboggan is too big a toboggan to buy to begin to toboggan.
342
Courtney Dworkin
personal name
343
Switch watch, wrist watch.
344
Six thick thistle sticks
345
Moses supposes his toeses are roses,
but Moses supposes erroneously.
For Moses, he knowses his toeses aren't roses,
as Moses supposes his toeses to be.
Donald O'Connor and Gene Kelly in "Singing in the rain"
Moses supposes his toeses are roses, But Moses supposes erroneously. For nobody's toeses are poses of roses, As Moses supposes his toeses to be!
346
I wish I were what I was when I wished I were what I am.
347
She sells seashells on the seashore. The seashells she sells are seashore seashells.
348
Irish wristwatch
349
She had shoulder surgery.
350
To put a pipe in byte mode, type PIPE_TYPE_BYTE.
from the Visual C++ help file.
351
Three Tree Turtles
Three tree turtles took turns talking tongue twisters.
If three tree turtles took turns talking tongue twisters,
where's the twisters the three tree turtles talked?
352
My Friend Gladys
Oh, the sadness of her sadness when she's sad.
Oh, the gladness of her gladness when she's glad.
But the sadness of her sadness,
and the gladness of her gladness,
Are nothing like her madness when she's mad!
353
I would if I could, and if I couldn't, how could I?
You couldn't, unless you could, could you?
common school kids nonsense, circa 1910
354
real rear wheel
355
Give me the gift of a grip-top sock,
A clip drape shipshape tip top sock.
Not your spinslick slapstick slipshod stock,
But a plastic, elastic grip-top sock.
None of your fantastic slack swap slop
From a slap dash flash cash haberdash shop.
Not a knick knack knitlock knockneed knickerbocker sock
With a mock-shot blob-mottled trick-ticker top clock.
Not a supersheet seersucker rucksack sock,
Not a spot-speckled frog-freckled cheap sheik's sock
Off a hodge-podge moss-blotched scotch-botched block.
Nothing slipshod drip drop flip flop or glip glop
Tip me to a tip top grip top sock.
articulation warmup for actors
356
National Sheepshire Sheep Association
357
The crow flew over the river with a lump of raw liver.
358
The little red lorry went down Limuru road.
Limuru (Lee-moo-roo) road is a the name of a road in Kenya.
359
Flies fly but a fly flies.
360
Did Doug dig Dick's garden or did Dick dig Doug's garden?
by Paul Davies
361
If a Hottentot taught a Hottentot tot to talk ere the tot could totter, ought the Hottentot tot be taught to say ought or naught or what ought to be taught 'er?
362
How many cans can a canner can if a canner can can cans? A canner can can as many cans as a canner can if a canner can can cans.
363
Federal Express is now called FedEx.
When I retire I'll be a FedEx ex.
But if I'm an officer when I retire, I'll be an ex Fedex Exec.
Then after a divorce, my ex-wife will be an ex FedEx exec's ex.
If I rejoin FedEx in time, I'd be an ex ex FedEx exec.
When we remarry, my wife will be an ex ex FedEx exec's ex.
364
Which witch snitched the stitched switch for which the Swiss witch wished?
by Ann Clark
365
Does this shop sport short socks with spots?
366
Customer: Do you have soothers?
Shopkeeper (thinking he had said "scissors"): No, we don't have scissors.
Customer: Soothers!
Shopkeeper : No, we don't have scissors or soothers.
... scissors or soothers, scissors or soothers, scissors or soothers, ...
actual conversation in a shop in Canada, recorded by Don Monson
367
Tommy, Tommy, toiling in a tailor's shop.
All day long he fits and tucks,
all day long he tucks and fits,
and fits and tucks, and tucks and fits,
and fits and tucks, and tucks and fits.
Tommy, Tommy, toiling in a tailor's shop.
368
No need to light a night-light on a light night like tonight.
You've no need to light a night-light
On a light night like tonight,
For a night-light's light's a slight light,
And tonight's a night that's light.
When a night's light, like tonight's light,
It is really not quite right
To light night-lights with their slight lights
On a light night like tonight.
369
I wish to wish, I dream to dream, I try to try, and I live to live, and I'd die to die, and I cry to cry but I dont know why.
from a Song by Soundgarden named "Somewhere" composed and written by Ben Shepherd
370
My mommy makes me muffins on Mondays.
by Tim McCauley, age 8
371
A real rare whale.
372
Terry Teeter, a teeter-totter teacher, taught her daughter Tara to teeter-totter, but Tara Teeter didn't teeter-totter as Terry Teeter taught her to.
by Pierre Abbat
373
Ken Dodd's dad's dog 's dead.
374
I bought a bit of baking powder and baked a batch of biscuits. I brought a big basket of biscuits back to the bakery and baked a basket of big biscuits. Then I took the big basket of biscuits and the basket of big biscuits and mixed the big biscuits with the basket of biscuits that was next to the big basket and put a bunch of biscuits from the basket into a biscuit mixer and brought the basket of biscuits and the box of mixed biscuits and the biscuit mixer to the bakery and opened a tin of sardines.
Said to be a diction test for would-be radio announcers: To be read clearly, without mistakes, in less than 20 seconds (from Coronet Magazine, August 1948).
375
Kanta is a masai girl. She can tie a tie and untie a tie. If Kanta can tie a tie and untie a tie, why can't I tie a tie and untie a tie?
376
I'm a mother pheasant plucker,
I pluck mother pheasants.
I'm the most pleasant mother pheasant plucker,
to ever pluck a mother pheasant. Actually, ...
I'm Not the pheasant plucker,
I'm the pheasant plucker's son.
But I'll stay and pluck the pheasants
Till the pheasant plucking 's done!
377
If you go for a gopher a gopher will go for a gopher hole.
378
Seven slick and sexy sealskin ski suits slid slowly down the slope.
379
The chief of the Leith police dismisseth us.
380
Fred Threlfall's thirty-five fine threads are finer threads than Fred Threlfall's thirty-five thick threads.
by Anthony Nichols
381
Bug's black blood, Black bug's blood
382
Reed Wade Road
name of a road in Batesville Arkansas
383
Jack's nap sack strap snapped.
384
I saw Esau sitting on a seesaw. I saw Esau; he saw me.
385
A quick witted cricket critic.
386
Hitchcock Hawk Watch Spots Record Raptors
Title of an article in the Neola Gazette
387
Sure, sir, the ship's sure shipshape, sir.
388
The Smothers brothers' father's mother's brothers are
the Smothers brothers' mother's father's other brothers.
389
One Double Dozen Double Damask Dinner Napkins
Name of a sketch written by Dion Titheradge for a London musical revue and originally performed by Cicely Courtneidge in the early 1930's. The comedienne Bea Lillie performed the sketch in an American film starring Bing Crosby in 1938, and that film's name was "Doctor Rhythm". The sketch became famous and Lillie did perform it on numerous occasions on radio, as well as record it on two 78rpm records.
390
The cat crept into the crypt, crapped and crept out.
391
Dear mother,
give your other udder
to my other brother.
392
Blended baby blue bug's blood blotches.
made up watching bugs splatter on the windshield ... ugh!
393
So, this is the sushi chef?
Spoken to a friend in a Japanese restaurant on the chef’s return.
394
Furnish Freddie's nursery with forty-four furry Furby Beanie Babies.
395
Arnold Palmer, Arnold Palmer, Arnold Palmer, ...
name of the famous American golfer
396
A bitter biting bittern bit a better biting bittern
And the better biting bittern bit the bitter biting bittern back.
Said the bitter biting bittern to the better biting bittern
“I’m a bitter biting bittern bitten back”
397
Certified certificates from certified certificate certifiers.
398
Imagine, imagining imagining, an imaginary imaginary imaginary menagerie manager, imagining imagining imagining an imaginary imaginary imaginary managerie.
399
What noise annoys a noisy oyster?
Any noise annoys a noisy oyster,
but a noisy noise annoys a noisy oyster most!
400
We need a plan to fan a pan; find a pan to fan, then find a fan to fan the pan, then fan the pan.
Some Korean students find difficult to pronounce difference between 'f' and 'p'.
401
How many snacks could a snack stacker stack,
if a snack stacker snacked stacked snacks?
by Christine Reynolds
402
Freddy is ready to roast red roaches.
Ready for Freddy's roasted red roaches?
403
Who washed Washington's white woolen underwear when Washington's washer-woman went west?
404
On mules we find two legs behind and two we find before.
We stand behind before we find what those behind be for.
405
Three grey geese
In a green field grazing,
Grey were the geese
And green was the grazing.
406
Susie sits shinning silver shoes
407
Ralph rakes leaves really, really lousily.
for Japanese students of English
408
Lady Luck dislikes losers.
for Japanese students of English
409
Broken back brake block
410
Mumbling, bumbling. Bumbling, mumbling.
411
Of all the felt I ever felt I never felt felt that felt like that felt felt.
412
They hatch fish at the state fish hatchery and sell hatched fish to the fish stick factory.
by Kevin Brown
413
In pine tar is. In oak none is. In mud eels are. In clay none is.
If read fast, it sounds like gibberish.
414
The sixth sick sheik's sixth sick sheep.
The sixth sick sheikh's sixth sheep's sick.
The sixth sick Sikh's sixth sheep is sick.
415
Thirty-six thick silk threads
416
Silly shoe-fly pie fans sell chilly shoe-fly pie pans.
417
Kantai can tie a tie. If Kantai can tie a tie,
why can't I tie a tie like Kantai can tie a tie.
418
The two-toed tree toad tried to tread where the three-toed tree toad trod.
419
Tricky Tristan tracked a trail of tiny turtles.
How many tiny turtles did Tricky Tristan track?
Tricky Tristan tracked twenty two tiny turtles;
that's how many tiny turtles tricky Tristan tracked.
420
Esau Wood saw a wood saw, saw wood, as no wood saw would saw wood. If Esau Wood saw a wood saw, saw wood, as no wood saw would saw wood, where is the wood saw witch would saw wood, as no wood saw would saw wood.
421
You're behaving like a babbling, bumbling band of baboons.
from Harry Potter
422
Iranian Uranium
423
Giddy kiddy goat,
Giddy kiddy goat,
Giddy, giddy, giddy, giddy, giddy, kiddy goat.
424
He wanted to desert his dessert in the desert!
425
If a Hottentot tot taught a Hottentot tot to talk before the tot would totter, ought the Hottentot tot be taught to say ought, or naught, or what ought to be taught the Hottentot tot? If to hoot and to toot a Hottentot tot be taught by a Hottentot tutor, should the tutor get hot if the Hottentot tot hoots and toots at the Hottentot tutor?
426
There was a writer called Wright, he taught his son to write Wright right:
"It's not right to write Wright 'Rite', please try to write Wright right!"
427
Very rare vagrant wader
a "vagrant wader" is a wading bird that is not typical to a particular region
428
Crash Quiche Course
429
I broke a brickbat and a brickbat broke me.
430
A wooden worm wouldn't be worthy of worship but would he if he wondered and worried about what he would be worthy of if he wasn't wooden?
by Samy Gosselin
431
Give papa a cup of proper coffee in a copper coffee cup.
432
Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely.
433
Farrell's features fabulous food 'n' fantastic fountain fantasies for frolicking, fun-filled festive families.
434
Who holds Joe's nose when he blows? Joe knows.
435
A singly circularly linked list.
436
The Final Fixing of the Foolish Fugitive
Feeling footloose, fancy-free and frisky, this feather-brained fellow finagled his fond father into forking over his fortune. Forthwith, he fled for foreign fields and frittered his farthings feasting fabulously with fair-weather friends. Finally, fleeced by those folly filled fellows and facing famine, he found him-self a feed flinger in a filthy farm-lot. He fain would have filled his frame with foraged food from fodder fragments.
"Fooey! My father's flunkies fare far fancier," the frazzled fugitive fumed feverishly, frankly facing fact.
Frustrated from failure and filled with forebodings, he fled for his family. Falling at his father's feet, he floundered forlornly. "Father, I have flunked and fruitlessly forfeited further family favors . . ."
But the faithful father, forestalling further flinching, frantically flagged his flunkies to fetch forth the finest fatling and fix a feast.
But the fugitive's fault finding frater, faithfully farming his father's fields for free, frowned at this fickle forgiveness of former falderal. His fury flashed, but fussing was futile.
His foresighted father figured, "Such filial fidelity is fine, but what forbids fervent festivities? The fugitive is found! Unfurl the flags! With fanfare flaring, let fun, frolic and frivolity flow freely, former failures forgotten and folly forsaken."
Forgiveness forms a firm foundation for future fortitude.
(Sir John Hensch of London)
437
Thirty-three thousand feathers on a thrushes throat.
438
四十是四十
四十不是十四
十四不是四十
十四是十四
sìshí shì sìshí
sìshí bǔ shì shísì
shísì bǔ shì sìshí
shísì shì shísì
439
When I went to Warsaw, I saw a saw that could outsaw any saw that I ever saw. Now, if you go to Warsaw and see a saw that could outsaw the saw I saw, I'd like to see your saw saw.
440
If practice makes perfect and perfect needs practice,
I’m perfectly practiced and practically perfect.
by Karen and Alyse Ferry
441
Six Czech cricket critics
442
Rubber Berber Gerber™ Burger
An ersatz North African taste treat ...
443
Lucid Lou slued loose the sluice that slew the slough.
444
In Hertford, Hereford and Hampshire hurricanes hardly ever happen.
from My Fair Lady the musical based upon George Bernard Shaw's Pygmalion
445
Thomas Tattamus took two T's to tie two tots to two tall trees.
446
Hercules, a hardy hunter, hunted a hare in the Hampshire Hills. Hit him on the head with a hard, hard hammer and he howled horribly!
447
Frank's fisher fishes on Friday for Frank's Friday fresh fried fish-fest.
by Steven Combs
448
I saw a saw in Warsaw. Of all the saws I ever saw I never saw a saw that could saw, like the saw I saw in Warsaw.
449
Dick had a dog,
the dog dug,
the dog dug deep,
how deep did Dick's dog dig?
Dick had a duck,
the duck dived,
the duck dived deep,
how deep did Dick's duck dive?
Dick's duck dived as deep as Dick's dog dug!
by Alexandra Hunt (11 years old)
450
It's a nice night for a white rice fight.
451
If a fella met a fella in a field of fitches
Can a fella tell a fella where a fella itches?
452
I feel a feel a funny feel a funny feel feel I,
If I feel a funny feel a funny feel feel I.
453
Never trust
a sloppy crust,
a squally gust,
ships that rust,
or girls with lust.
But if you must,
you may trust
to go bust,
and back to dust,
which serves you just.
on board of a Victory Ship in the 1940s
454
A sad story about Nobody
This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realised that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody, when Nobody did, what Anybody could have done.
455
Mr Knott and Mr Watt on the Phone
Hello?
Who's calling?
Watt.
What's your name?
Watt's my name.
Yes, what is your name?
My name is John Watt.
John what?
Yes.
... I'll call on you this afternoon.
All right, are you Jones?
No, I'm Knott.
Will you tell me your name, then?
Will Knott.
Why not?
My name is Knott.
Not what?
Not Watt. Knott.
What?
456
Round brown bread
the Indian bread "Roti"
457
grip glue, grip glue, grip glue, ...
458
Bob's pop-up blocker blocks Bob's pop-ups.
459
Chill, Shake, Serve, ...
460
M. R. Ducks
M.R. not Ducks
O. S. M. R.
L. I'll B.
M. R. Ducks!
461
How much cash could a sasquatch stash if a sasquatch could stash cash?
by Janet Cashman-Shipman and family
462
A cunning young canner from Canning
Once observed to his granny,
"A canner can can
a lot of things gran,
But a canner can't can a can, can he?"
463
How many ducks could a duck duct-tape, if a duck could duct-tape ducks?
464
Bad dead bed-bugs bleed bug blood.
by Mimi Routh
465
Upper roller, lower roller,
upper roller, lower roller,
upper roller, lower roller, ...
466
Bill had a billboard, Bill also had a board bill. The billboard bored Bill so Bill sold the billboard to pay for the board bill.
467
Washington's wash woman washed Washington's wash while Washington's wife went west.
468
Faith's face cloth, Faith's face cloth, Faith's face cloth, ...
by Monica Holmes-Lauder
469
Deer, deer, oh dear, oh dear,
your career as a deer is over here
no, no, oh no, although
your career as a skellytun's begun.
The Roadkill Song
470
The sixth sick Sikh's sixth sheep is sick.
471
Click, clap, pluck, ...
472
Mister Twister's tongue twisters, ...
473
Hum-min-a, Hum-min-a, Hum-min-a, ...
sometimes said by Jackie Gleason in "The Honeymooners"
474
Mud bug, mud bug, mud bug, ...
475
Polish it in the corner. Polish it in the corner. Polish it in the corner. ...
476
I gratefully gazed at the gracefully grazing gazelles.
477
Really very weary, really very weary, really very weary, ...
478
The sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep 's sick.
variation of the famous tongue twister
479
Thrushcross Grange
the name of the Linton's house in "Wuthering Heights" by Emily Brontë
480
Six sticky skeletons, six sticky skeletons, six sticky skeletons, ...
481
Sheila is selling her shop at the seashore
For shops at the seashore are so sure to lose
And she’s not so sure of what she should be selling
Should Sheila sell seashells or should she sell shoes
Danny Kaye song, arround 1930
482
A canner exceedingly canny,
One morning remarked to his granny,
A canner can can,
Anything that he can,
But a canner can't can a can; can he?
© Win Ivin
483
She sat upon a balcony, inimicably mimicking him hiccuping and amicably welcoming him in.
484
I can't believe that "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!" is actually a butter that I can't believe is not butter.
"I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!" is a butter substitute produced by Becel/Flora/Promise, a subsidiary of Unilever.
485
You name it, we claim it. If we can't get it, we'll send you to get it. If we can't send you to get it, forgit it. Who's got it, if we don't got it?
from the 1960's
486
If your Bob doesnt give our Bob that bob
That your Bob owes our Bob
Our Bob will give your Bob
a bob in the eye
487
V: Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. [carves V into poster on wall]
V: The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. [giggles]
V: Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.
from the screenplay of the movie "V for Vendetta", at the beginning, when V meets Evie for the first time
488
Shep Schwab shopped at Scott's Schnapps shop;
One shot of Scott's Schnapps stopped Schwab's watch.
489
Three sweet switched Swiss witches watch three washed Swiss witch Swatch watch switches. Which sweet switched Swiss witch watches, which washed Swiss witch Swatch watch switch?
490
Julie judges Judy, Judy judges Julie, Julie judges Judy... they're in a bad moody, because Julie judges Judy, Judy judges Julie, Julie judges Judy...
491
If you could scoop the black poops poopy poop, how much poop would you scoop of the black poops poop?
492
Theodore thought fun things from throne, Frustrated, furious Theodore forcefully threw throne, Thinking of thrown throne, forlorn Theodore felt foolish.
493
The throng of thermometers from the Thuringian Thermometer Folks arrived on Thursday. There were a thousand thirty-three thick thermometers, though, instead of a thousand thirty-six thin thermometers, which was three thermometers fewer than the thousand thirty-six we were expecting, not to mention that they were thick ones rather than thin ones. We thoroughly thought that we had ordered a thousand thirty-six, not a thousand thirty-three, thermometers, and asked the Thuringian Thermometer Folks to reship the thermometers; thin, not thick. They apologized for sending only a thousand thirty-three thermometers rather than a thousand thirty six and promised to replace the thick thermometers with thin thermometers.
494
The Tan Man: A fashionably tan man sat casually at the bat stand, lashing a handful of practice bats. The manager, a crabby old bag of bones, passed by and laughed, “You’re about average Jack. Can’t you lash faster than that?” Jack had enough, so he clambered to his feet and lashed bats faster than any man ever lashed bats. As a matter of fact, he lashed bats so fast that he seemed to dance. The manager was aghast. “Jack, you’re a master bat lasher!” he gasped. Satisfied at last, Jack sat back and never lashed another bat.
495
The Vile VIP: When revising his visitor’s version of a plan for a very well paved avenue, the VIP was advised to reveal none of his motives. Eventually, however, the hapless visitor discovered his knavish views and confided that it was vital to review the plans together to avoid a conflict. The VIP was not convinced, and averred that he would have it vetoed by the vice president. This quite vexed the visitor, who then vowed to invent an indestructible paving compound in order to avenge his good name. The VIP found himself on the verge of a civil war with a visitor with whom he had previously conversed easily. It was only due to his insufferable vanity that the inevitable division arrived as soon as it did. Never again did the visitor converse with the vain VIP and they remained divided forever.
Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.
A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked.
If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,
Where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?
2
I saw Susie sitting in a shoe shine shop.
Where she sits she shines, and where she shines she sits.
3
How many boards
Could the Mongols hoard
If the Mongol hordes got bored?
from the comic Calvin & Hobbes, by Bill Waterson
4
How can a clam cram in a clean cream can?
5
Send toast to ten tense stout saints' ten tall tents.
by Raymond Weisling
6
Denise sees the fleece,
Denise sees the fleas.
At least Denise could sneeze
and feed and freeze the fleas.
7
Coy knows pseudonoise codes.
by Pierre Abbat
8
Sheena leads, Sheila needs.
9
The thirty-three thieves thought that they thrilled the throne throughout Thursday.
10
Something in a thirty-acre thermal thicket of thorns and thistles thumped and thundered threatening the three-D thoughts of Matthew the thug - although, theatrically, it was only the thirteen-thousand thistles and thorns through the underneath of his thigh that the thirty year old thug thought of that morning.
by Meaghan Desbiens
11
Can you can a can as a canner can can a can?
12
Seth at Sainsbury's sells thick socks.
13
You cuss, I cuss, we all cuss, for asparagus!
from a Far Side cartoon by Gary Larson
14
Roberta ran rings around the Roman ruins.
15
Clean clams crammed in clean cans.
16
Six sick hicks nick six slick bricks with picks and sticks.
17
I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.
18
Stupid superstition!
19
There was a fisherman named Fisher
who fished for some fish in a fissure.
Till a fish with a grin,
pulled the fisherman in.
Now they're fishing the fissure for Fisher.
20
World Wide Web
21
To sit in solemn silence in a dull, dark dock,
In a pestilential prison, with a life-long lock,
Awaiting the sensation of a short, sharp shock,
From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block!
To sit in solemn silence in a dull, dark dock,
In a pestilential prison, with a life-long lock,
Awaiting the sensation of a short, sharp shock,
From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block!
A dull, dark dock, a life-long lock,
A short, sharp shock, a big black block!
To sit in solemn silence in a pestilential prison,
And awaiting the sensation
From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block!
by W.S. Gilbert of Gilbert and Sullivan from The Mikado
22
Picky people pick Peter Pan Peanut-Butter, 'tis the peanut-butter picky people pick.
from a commercial
23
If Stu chews shoes, should Stu choose the shoes he chews?
24
Luke Luck likes lakes.
Luke's duck likes lakes.
Luke Luck licks lakes.
Luck's duck licks lakes.
Duck takes licks in lakes Luke Luck likes.
Luke Luck takes licks in lakes duck likes.
from Dr. Seuss' Fox in Socks
25
Seventy seven benevolent elephants
harder than it seems
26
There those thousand thinkers were thinking how did the other three thieves go through.
27
Santa's Short Suit Shrunk
name of a children's book
28
I was born on a pirate ship
Hold your tounge while saying it.
29
I scream, you scream, we all scream for icecream!
30
Wayne went to Wales to watch walruses.
31
In 'ertford, 'ereford and 'ampshire, 'urricanes 'ardly Hever 'appen.
from the film "My Fair Lady"
32
One-one was a race horse.
Two-two was one too.
One-one won one race.
Two-two won one too.
33
Eleven benevolent elephants
34
Celibate celebrant, celibate celebrant, celibate celebrant, ...
35
Willy's real rear wheel
David Bowser in Harrisburg, PA
36
If Pickford's packers packed a packet of crisps would the packet of crisps that Pickford's packers packed survive for two and a half years?
from Naomi Fletcher's real life
37
Six sleek swans swam swiftly southwards
38
Gobbling gorgoyles gobbled gobbling goblins.
39
Did Dick Pickens prick his pinkie pickling cheap cling peaches in an inch of Pinch or framing his famed French finch photos?
40
Pirates Private Property
41
What a terrible tongue twister,
what a terrible tongue twister,
what a terrible tongue twister...
42
When you write copy you have the right to copyright the copy you write. ...
continued here
43
A big black bug bit a big black dog on his big black nose!
by Kitty Morrow
44
Elizabeth's birthday is on the third Thursday of this month.
45
Ann and Andy's anniversary is in April.
46
Flash message!
47
Frogfeet, flippers, swimfins.
48
Hassock hassock, black spotted hassock. Black spot on a black back of a black spotted hassock.
49
How many cookies could a good cook cook If a good cook could cook cookies? A good cook could cook as much cookies as a good cook who could cook cookies.
50
How much ground would a groundhog hog, if a groundhog could hog ground? A groundhog would hog all the ground he could hog, if a groundhog could hog ground.
51
How much pot, could a pot roast roast, if a pot roast could roast pot.
52
How much wood could Chuck Woods' woodchuck chuck, if Chuck Woods' woodchuck could and would chuck wood? If Chuck Woods' woodchuck could and would chuck wood, how much wood could and would Chuck Woods' woodchuck chuck? Chuck Woods' woodchuck would chuck, he would, as much as he could, and chuck as much wood as any woodchuck would, if a woodchuck could and would chuck wood.
53
Mary Mac's mother's making Mary Mac marry me.
My mother's making me marry Mary Mac.
Will I always be so Merry when Mary's taking care of me?
Will I always be so merry when I marry Mary Mac?
from a song by Carbon Leaf
54
Mr. Tongue Twister tried to train his tongue to twist and turn, and twit an twat, to learn the letter "T".
55
Pete's pa pete poked to the pea patch to pick a peck of peas for the poor pink pig in the pine hole pig-pen.
56
She saw Sherif's shoes on the sofa. But was she so sure she saw Sherif's shoes on the sofa?
57
Through three cheese trees three free fleas flew.
While these fleas flew, freezy breeze blew.
Freezy breeze made these three trees freeze.
Freezy trees made these trees' cheese freeze.
That's what made these three free fleas sneeze.
from Fox in Sox by Dr. Seuss
58
Two tried and true tridents
59
rudder valve reversals
the cause of some plane crashes
60
Birdie birdie in the sky laid a turdie in my eye.
If cows could fly I'd have a cow pie in my eye.
61
How many cans can a cannibal nibble
if a cannibal can nibble cans?
As many cans as a cannibal can nibble
if a cannibal can nibble cans.
62
Thirty-three thirsty, thundering thoroughbreds thumped Mr. Thurber on Thursday.
63
Four furious friends fought for the phone.
64
Plymouth sleuths thwart Luther's slithering.
65
Bobby Bippy bought a bat.
Bobby Bippy bought a ball.
With his bat Bob banged the ball
Banged it bump against the wall
But so boldly Bobby banged it
That he burst his rubber ball
"Boo!" cried Bobby
Bad luck ball
Bad luck Bobby, bad luck ball
Now to drown his many troubles
Bobby Bippy's blowing bubbles.
from mid-Willamette Valley theater
66
Black background, brown background.
67
Why do you cry, Willy?
Why do you cry?
Why, Willy?
Why, Willy?
Why, Willy? Why?
68
Very well, very well, very well ...
69
Tie twine to three tree twigs.
70
Rory the warrior and Roger the worrier were reared wrongly in a rural brewery.
71
Mares eat oats and does eat oats,
and little lambs eat ivy.
A Kid will eat ivy too, wouldn't you?
72
Three short sword sheaths.
73
Caution: Wide Right Turns
seen on semi-tractor trailers
74
Rolling red wagons
75
Green glass globes glow greenly.
76
Robert Wayne Rutter
personal name
77
I stood sadly on the silver steps of Burgess's fish sauce shop, mimicking him hiccuping, and wildly welcoming him within.
78
As I was in Arkansas I saw a saw that could out saw any saw I ever saw saw. If you happen to be in Arkansas and see a saw that can out saw the saw I saw saw I'd like to see the saw you saw saw.
79
black back bat
80
The queen in green screamed.
81
How many berries could a bare berry carry,
if a bare berry could carry berries?
Well they can't carry berries
(which could make you very wary)
but a bare berry carried is more scary!
82
What did you have for breakfast?
- rubber balls and liquor!
What did you have for lunch?
- rubber balls and liquor!
What did you have for dinner?
- rubber balls and liquor!
What do you do when your sister comes home?
- rubber balls and liquor!
83
Snap Crackel pop,
Snap Crackel pop,
Snap Crackel pop
84
Six slimy snails sailed silently.
85
I thought, I thought of thinking of thanking you.
86
Seven slick slimey snakes slowly sliding southward.
87
Red Buick, blue Buick
88
Roofs of mushrooms rarely mush too much.
by Matt Duchnowski
89
He threw three balls.
90
The great Greek grape growers grow great Greek grapes.
91
Singing Sammy sung songs on sinking sand.
92
We're real rear wheels.
93
Rhys watched Ross switch his Irish wristwatch for a Swiss wristwatch.
94
I wish to wash my Irish wristwatch.
95
Near an ear, a nearer ear, a nearly eerie ear.
96
On a lazy laser raiser lies a laser ray eraser.
97
Scissors sizzle, thistles sizzle.
98
Tom threw Tim three thumbtacks.
99
How much caramel can a canny canonball cram in a camel if a canny canonball can cram caramel in a camel?
100
He threw three free throws.
101
Fresh French fried fly fritters
102
Gig whip, gig whip, gig whip, ...
103
I was born on a pirate ship.
Say it while holding your tongue.
104
2 Y's U R.
2 Y's U B.
I C U R.
2 Y's 4 me!
105
Little Mike left his bike like Tike at Spike's.
106
Eddie edited it.
107
Yellow butter, purple jelly, red jam, black bread.
Spread it thick, say it quick!
Yellow butter, purple jelly, red jam, black bread.
Spread it thicker, say it quicker!
Yellow butter, purple jelly, red jam, black bread.
Don't eat with your mouth full!
108
Wow, race winners really want red wine right away!
109
The ruddy widow really wants ripe watermelon and red roses when winter arrives.
110
I'll chew and chew until my jaws drop.
111
Triple Dickle
a strong drink
112
How many sheets could a sheet slitter slit if a sheet slitter could slit sheets?
113
Supposed to be pistachio,
supposed to be pistachio,
supposed to be pistachio.
by Diane Estep
114
Chester Cheetah chews a chunk of cheep cheddar cheese.
from a high school singing class
115
Real rock wall, real rock wall, real rock wall
116
Argyle Gargoyle
117
Peggy Babcock, Peggy Babcock, Peggy Babcock, ...
personal name
118
If you're keen on stunning kites and cunning stunts,
buy a cunning stunning stunt kite.
119
Two tiny tigers take two taxis to town.
120
Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds.
by Pierre Abbat
121
Willie's really weary.
122
Yally Bally had a jolly golliwog. Feeling folly, Yally Bally Bought his jolly golli' a dollie made of holly! The golli', feeling jolly, named the holly dollie, Polly. So Yally Bally's jolly golli's holly dollie Polly's also jolly!
by Mistah Twistah, Tony Valuch
123
Out in the pasture the nature watcher watches the catcher. While the catcher watches the pitcher who pitches the balls. Whether the temperature's up or whether the temperature's down, the nature watcher, the catcher and the pitcher are always around. The pitcher pitches, the catcher catches and the watcher watches. So whether the temperature's rises or whether the temperature falls the nature watcher just watches the catcher who's watching the pitcher who's watching the balls.
by Sharon Johnson
124
Tommy Tucker tried to tie Tammy's Turtles tie.
125
John, where Peter had had "had had", had had "had";
"had had" had had his master's approval.
126
Excited executioner exercising his excising powers excessively.
127
Pail of ale aiding ailing Al's travails.
from India
128
Double bubble gum, bubbles double.
129
If you can't can any candy can,
how many candy cans can a candy canner can
if he can can candy cans ?
130
Octopus ocular optics.
and
A cat snaps a rat's paxwax.
by Pierre Abbat
131
This is the sixth zebra snoozing thoroughly.
132
Salty broccoli, salty broccoli, salty broccoli ....
133
I saw Esau kissing Kate.
I saw Esau, he saw me, and she saw I saw Esau.
134
A slimey snake slithered down the sandy sahara.
135
Suzie Seaword's fish-sauce shop sells unsifted thistles for thistle-sifters to sift.
136
I eat eel while you peel eel
137
Nothing is worth thousands of deaths.
138
Casual clothes are provisional for leisurely trips across Asia.
139
East Fife Four, Forfar Five
an actual football result from the Scottish third division
140
Roy Wayne
Roy Rogers
Roy Rash
personal names
141
11 was a racehorse,
22 was 12,
1111 race,
22112.
Wunwun was a racehorse, Tutu was one too. Wunwun won one race, Tutu won one too.
142
It's not the cough that carries you off,
it's the coffin they carry you off in!
143
She said she should sit.
144
Mo mi mo me send me a toe,
Me me mo mi get me a mole,
Mo mi mo me send me a toe,
Fe me mo mi get me a mole,
Mister kister feet so sweet,
Mister kister where will I eat !?
145
Will you, William? Will you, William? Will you, William?
Can't you, don't you, won't you, William?
146
I wish you were a fish in my dish
147
She stood on the balcony, inexplicably mimicking him hiccuping, and amicably welcoming him in.
an actor's vocal warmup for lips and tongue
148
The big black bug bit the big black bear,
but the big black bear bit the big black bug back!
149
Dust is a disk's worst enemy.
150
I see a sea down by the seashore.
But which sea do you see down by the seashore?
151
Old Mr. Hunt
had a cuddy punt
Not a cuddy punt
but a hunt punt cuddy.
152
As one black bug, bled blue, black blood. The other black bug bled blue.
153
Mommy made me eat my M&Ms.
154
I'm not the fig plucker,
nor the fig plucker's son,
but I'll pluck figs
till the fig plucker comes.
155
A gazillion gigantic grapes gushed
gradually giving gophers gooey guts.
156
Aluminum, linoleum, molybdenum, aluminum, linoleum, molybdenum, aluminum, linoleum, molybdenum
157
Thin grippy thick slippery.
158
A tree toad loved a she-toad,
Who lived up in a tree.
He was a three-toed tree toad,
But a two-toed toad was she.
The three-toed tree toad tried to win,
The two-toed she-toad's heart,
For the three-toed tree toad loved the ground,
That the two-toed tree toad trod.
But the three-toed tree toad tried in vain.
He couldn't please her whim.
From her tree toad bower,
With her two-toed power,
The she-toad vetoed him.
159
The owner of the inside inn was inside his inside inn with his inside outside his inside inn.
160
If you notice this notice,
you will notice that this notice is not worth noticing.
161
If you understand, say "understand".
If you don't understand, say "don't understand".
But if you understand and say "don't understand".
how do I understand that you understand. Understand!?
162
She sees cheese.
163
Brent Spence Bridge
Clay Wade Bailey Bridge
places in Ohio
164
Chukotko-Kamchatkan
pertaining to the Siberian people living in Kamchatka
165
There those thousand thinkers were thinking
where did those other three thieves go through.
166
Five frantic frogs fled from fifty fierce fishes.
167
One smart fellow, he felt smart.
Two smart fellows, they felt smart.
Three smart fellows, they felt smart.
Four smart fellows, they felt smart.
Five smart fellows, they felt smart.
Six smart fellows, they felt smart.
168
Seven sleazy shysters in sharkskin suits sold sheared sealskins to seasick sailors.
169
I would if I could! But I can't, so I won't!
170
But a harder thing still to do.
What a to do to die today
At a quarter or two to two.
A terrible difficult thing to say
But a harder thing still to do.
The dragon will come at the beat of the drum
With a rat-a-tat-tat a-tat-tat a-tat-to
At a quarter or two to two today,
At a quarter or two to two.
from a college drama class
171
Love's a feeling you feel when you feel
you're going to feel the feeling you've never felt before.
172
Silly sheep weep and sleep.
173
Truly rural, truly rural, truly rural, ...
174
A turbot's not a burbot, for a turbot's a butt, but a burbot's not.
175
I know a boy named Tate
who dined with his girl at eight eight.
I'm unable to state what Tate ate at eight eight
or what Tate's tête à tête ate at eight eight.
176
The seething sea ceaseth; thus the seething sea sufficeth us.
The seething sea ceaseth and thus the seething sea sufficeth us.
177
Real weird rear wheels
by Michael Dworkin and Bill Harvey
178
I slit a sheet, a sheet I slit, upon a slitted sheet I sit.
179
A pessimistic pest exists amidst us.
180
Knife and a fork bottle and a cork
that is the way you spell New York.
Chicken in the car and the car can go,
that is the way you spell Chicago.
181
Five fuzzy French frogs Frolicked through the fields in France.
182
Two to two to Toulouse?
183
Swatch watch
184
Dr. Johnson and Mr. Johnson, after great consideration, came to the conclusion that the Indian nation beyond the Indian Ocean is back in education because the chief occupation is cultivation.
185
Round and round the rugged rock the ragged rascal ran.
186
Buckets of bug blood, buckets of bug blood, buckets of bug blood
187
I'm a sock cutter and I cut socks.
I'm a sock cutter and I cut socks.
I'm a sock cutter and I cut socks.
188
If coloured caterpillars could change their colours constantly could they keep their coloured coat coloured properly?
189
We won, we won, we won, we won, ...
190
Thirty-three thousand people think that Thursday is their thirtieth birthday.
by Julia Dicum
191
How much ground could a grounghog grind if a groundhog could grind ground?
192
How may saws could a see-saw saw if a see-saw could saw saws?
by Jillian Goetz
193
As he gobbled the cakes on his plate,
the greedy ape said as he ate,
the greener green grapes are,
the keener keen apes are
to gobble green grape cakes,
they're great!
from Dr. Seuss's O Say Can You Say?
194
How much myrtle would a wood turtle hurdle if a wood turtle could hurdle myrtle?
A wood turtle would hurdle as much myrtle as a wood turtle could hurdle if a wood turtle could hurdle myrtle.
195
Shut up the shutters and sit in the shop.
196
Rattle your bottles in Rollocks' van.
197
A fly and flea flew into a flue,
said the fly to the flea 'what shall we do?'
'let us fly' said the flea
said the fly 'shall we flee'
so they flew through a flaw in the flue.
198
How much dew does a dewdrop drop
If dewdrops do drop dew?
They do drop, they do
As do dewdrops drop
If dewdrops do drop dew.
199
If Kantie can tie a tie and untie a tie,
why can't I tie a tie and untie a tie like Kantie can.
200
Bake big batches of bitter brown bread.
201
But she as far surpasseth Sycorax,
As great'st does least.
Caliban describing Miranda's beauty in "The Tempest", by William Shakespeare
202
Bake big batches of brown blueberry bread.
203
She sits in her slip and sips Schlitz.
204
Which wristwatch is a Swiss wristwatch?
205
Whoever slit the sheets is a good sheet slitter.
206
Mummies make money.
207
Crush grapes, grapes crush, crush grapes.
208
An elephant was asphyxiated in the asphalt.
209
A black bloke's back brake-block broke.
210
This is a zither.
211
Fresh fried fish,
Fish fresh fried,
Fried fish fresh,
Fish fried fresh.
212
There was a minimum of cinnamon in the aluminum pan.
213
Really leery, rarely Larry.
214
Big black bugs bleed blue black blood but baby black bugs bleed blue blood.
215
Elizabeth has eleven elves in her elm tree.
216
Her whole right hand really hurts.
difficult in Brazil
217
Come, come,
Stay calm, stay calm,
No need for alarm,
It only hums,
It doesn't harm.
218
Tie a knot, tie a knot.
Tie a tight, tight knot.
Tie a knot in the shape of a nought.
219
Red blood, green blood
220
I'm a sheet slitter.
I slit sheets.
I'm the sleekest sheet slitter
that ever slit sheets.
221
Busy buzzing bumble bees.
222
A lump of red leather, a red leather lump
223
Nat the bat swat at Matt the gnat.
224
I shot the city sheriff.
I shot the city sheriff.
I shot the city sheriff.
225
A lady sees a pot-mender at work at his barrow in the street.
"Are you copper-bottoming 'em, man?"
"No, I'm aluminiuming 'em, Mam."
226
I am not a pheasant plucker,
I'm a pheasant plucker's son
but I'll be plucking pheasants
When the pheasant plucker's gone.
227
Suzie, Suzie, working in a shoeshine shop.
All day long she sits and shines,
all day long she shines and sits,
and sits and shines, and shines and sits,
and sits and shines, and shines and sits.
Suzie, Suzie, working in a shoeshine shop.
Tommy, Tommy, toiling in a tailor's shop.
All day long he fits and tucks,
all day long he tucks and fits,
and fits and tucks, and tucks and fits,
and fits and tucks, and tucks and fits.
Tommy, Tommy, toiling in a tailor's shop.
sung by Ian Mackintosh
228
Preshrunk silk shirts.
229
Craig Quinn's quick trip to Crabtree Creek.
230
Six shining cities, six shining cities, six shining cities.
231
While we were walking, we were watching window washers wash Washington's windows with warm washing water.
232
A big black bear sat on a big black bug.
233
A bloke's bike back brake block broke.
234
Sweet sagacious Sally Sanders said she sure saw seven segregated seaplanes sailing swiftly southward Saturday.
235
Betty Botter bought some butter but, said she, the butter's bitter.
If I put it in my batter, it will make my batter bitter.
But a bit of better butter will make my bitter batter better.
So she bought some better butter, better than the bitter butter,
put it in her bitter batter, made her bitter batter better.
So 't was better Betty Botter bought some better butter.
Betty Botter bought a bit of butter.
The butter Betty Botter bought was a bit bitter
And made her batter bitter.
But a bit of better butter makes better batter.
So Betty Botter bought a bit of better butter
Making Betty Botter's bitter batter better
236
How much oil boil can a gum boil boil if a gum boil can boil oil?
237
Good blood, bad blood, good blood, bad blood, good blood, bad blood.
238
No nose knows like a gnome's nose knows.
by the Hofman family
239
Freshly fried fresh flesh
240
There are two minutes difference from four to two to two to two, from two to two to two, too.
241
There once was a man who had a sister, his name was Mr. Fister. Mr. Fister's sister sold sea shells by the sea shore. Mr. Fister didn't sell sea shells, he sold silk sheets. Mr. Fister told his sister that he sold six silk sheets to six shieks. The sister of Mr. Fister said I sold six shells to six shieks too!
242
Sally sells sea shells by the sea shore. But if Sally sells sea shells by the sea shore then where are the sea shells Sally sells?
243
She stood on the steps of Burgess's Fish Sauce Shop, mimicking him hiccuping and amicably welcoming him in.
244
Swan swam over the sea.
Swim, swan, swim!
Swan swam back again.
Well swum swan!
245
Sally is a sheet slitter, she slits sheets.
246
She sells seashells on the seashore;
The shells she sells are seashells, I'm sure.
So if she sells seashells on the seashore,
Then I'm sure that the shells are seashore shells.
247
You know New York.
You need New York.
You know you need unique New York.
248
What noise annoys an oyster most?
A noisy noise annoys an oyster most.
249
Ripe white wheat reapers reap ripe white wheat right.
250
Blake's black bike's back brake bracket block broke.
251
Each Easter Eddie eats eighty Easter eggs.
252
She slits the sheet she sits on.
253
A rough-coated, dough-faced, thoughtful ploughman strode through the streets of Scarborough; after falling into a slough, he coughed and hiccoughed.
254
A twister of twists once twisted a twist.
and the twist that he twisted was a three-twisted twist.
now in twisting this twist,
if a twist should untwist,
would the twist that untwisted untwist the twists?
255
Red lolly, yellow lolly.
256
Mrs Hunt had a country cut front
in the front of her country cut pettycoat.
257
Knapsack strap.
258
John, where Molly had had "had", had had "had had". "Had had " had had the teachers approval
259
Miss Smith's fish-sauce shop seldom sells shellfish.
260
Great gray goats
261
Whether the weather be fine
or whether the weather be not.
Whether the weather be cold
or whether the weather be hot.
We'll weather the weather
whether we like it or not.
262
Sunshine city, sunshine city, sunshine city, ...
263
The batter with the butter is the batter that is better!
264
There's a sandwich on the sand which was sent by a sane witch.
265
How many yaks could a yak pack pack if a yak pack could pack yaks?
266
Twelve twins twirled twelve twigs.
267
If you stick a stock of liquor in your locker
it is slick to stick a lock upon your stock
or some joker who is slicker
is going to trick you of your liquor
if you fail to lock your liquor with a lock.
268
Clowns grow glowing crowns.
269
Can you imagine an imaginary menagerie manager
imagining managing an imaginary menagerie?
270
Sister Suzie sewing shirts for soldiers
Such skill as sewing shirts
Our shy young sister Suzie shows
Some soldiers send epistles
Say they'd rather sleep in thistles
Than the saucy, soft short shirts for soldiers Sister Suzie sews.
271
Red leather, yellow leather, ...
272
IF IF = THEN THEN THEN = ELSE ELSE ELSE = IF;
programming language PL/I by Bruce Walker
273
Announcement at Victoria Station, London:
Two to two to Tooting too!
274
Richard's wretched ratchet wrench.
275
Rugged rubber baby buggy bumpers.
276
A box of biscuits,
a box of mixed biscuits,
and a biscuit mixer.
277
When a doctor doctors a doctor,
does the doctor doing the doctoring
doctor as the doctor being doctored wants to be doctored or
does the doctor doing the doctoring doctor as he wants to doctor?
If one-doctor doctors another doctor, does the doctor who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does he doctor the doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors?
278
What to do to die today at a minute or two to two. A terribly difficult thing to say and a harder thing to do. A dragon will come and beat his drum Ra-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-too at a minute or two to two today. At a minute or two to two.
Who is the author?
279
If two witches would watch two watches, which witch would watch which watch?
280
The soldier's shoulder surely hurts!
281
She sees seas slapping shores.
282
A loyal warrior will rarely worry why we rule.
by Ray Weisling
283
Greek grapes.
284
Mr. See owned a saw and Mr Soar owned a seesaw.
Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw before Soar saw See.
285
Six sick sea-serpents swam the seven seas.
286
There was a little witch which switched from Chichester to Ipswich.
287
A proper cup of coffee from a proper copper coffee pot.
288
Don't trouble trouble, until trouble troubles you! If you trouble trouble, triple trouble troubles you!
289
Theophilus Thadeus Thistledown, the succesful thistle-sifter, while sifting a sieve-full of unsifted thistles, thrust three thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb. Now, if Theophilus Thadeus Thistledown, the succesful thistle-sifter, thrust three thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb, see that thou, while sifting a sieve-full of unsifted thistles, thrust not three thousand thistles through the thick of thy thumb.
Theopholis Thistle, the successful thistle sifter, while sifting a sieve full of unsifted thistles thrust three thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb. Now, if Theopholis Thistle, the successful thistle sifter, while sifting a sieve full of unsifted thistles thrust three thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb seeist that thou when sifting a sieve full of unsifted thistles thrust NOT three thousand thistles through the thick of thy thumb! Success to the successful thistle sifter!
290
Shoe section, shoe section, shoe section, ...
291
A smart fella, a fella smart.
It takes a smart fella to say a fella smart.
292
She is a thistle-sifter. She has a sieve of unsifted thistles and a sieve of sifted thistles and the sieve of unsifted thistles she sifts into the sieve of sifted thistles because she is a thistle-sifter.
293
Admidst the mists and coldest frosts,
With stoutest wrists and loudest boasts,
He thrusts his fists against the posts,
And still insists he sees the ghosts.
294
Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear,
Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair,
Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy,
was he?
295
Blue glue gun, green glue gun.
296
Toy boat, toy boat, toy boat, ...
297
Mallory's hourly salary.
298
I slit a sheet, a sheet I slit, and on that slitted sheet I sit.
299
Don't spring on the inner-spring this spring or there will be an offspring next spring.
300
A flea and a fly in a flue,
were imprisoned. So what could they do?
Said the fly, "Let us flee".
Said the flea, "Let us fly".
So they flew through a flaw in the flue.
301
King Thistle stuck a thousand thistles in the thistle of his thumb.
A thousand thistles King Thistle stuck in the thistle of his thumb.
If King Thistle stuck a thousand thistles in the thistle of his thumb,
How many thistles did King Thistle stick in the thistle of his thumb?
302
Five fat friars frying flat fish.
303
The bottle of perfume that Willy sent
was highly displeasing to Millicent.
Her thanks were so cold
that they quarreled, I'm told
o'er that silly scent Willy sent Millicent
304
Esau Wood sawed wood. All the wood Esau Wood saw, Esau Wood would saw. All the wood Wood saw, Esau sought to saw. One day Esau Wood's wood-saw would saw no wood. So Esau Wood sought a new wood-saw. The new wood-saw would saw wood. Oh, the wood Esau Wood would saw. Esau sought a saw that would saw wood as no other wood-saw would saw. And Esau found a saw that would saw as no other wood-saw would saw. And Esau Wood sawed wood.
305
A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk,
but the stump thunk the skunk stunk.
306
Extinct insects' instincts, extant insects' instincts.
by Pierre Abbat
307
Sweater weather, leather weather.
308
One black beetle bled only black blood, the other black beetle bled blue.
309
The big black bug's blood ran blue.
310
I am not the pheasant plucker,
I'm the pheasant plucker's mate.
I am only plucking pheasants
'cause the pheasant plucker's late.
311
Ed Nott was shot and Sam Shott was not. So it is better to be Shott than Nott. Some say Nott was not shot. But Shott says he shot Nott. Either the shot Shott shot at Nott was not shot, or Nott was shot. If the shot Shott shot shot Nott, Nott was shot. But if the shot Shott shot shot Shott, the shot was Shott, not Nott. However, the shot Shott shot shot not Shott - but Nott. So, Ed Nott was shot and that's hot! Is it not?
312
We will learn why her lowly lone, worn yarn loom will rarely earn immoral money.
by Ray Weisling
313
Unique New York, unique New York, unique New York, ...
314
If Dr. Seuss Were a Technical Writer.....
Here's an easy game to play.
Here's an easy thing to say:
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!
If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!
You can't say this? What a shame, sir!
We'll find you another game, sir.
If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!
When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risk,
Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to ram your rom.
Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!
from the Unix fortune database, attributed to DementDJ@ccip.perkin-elmer.com in the rec.humor.funny newsgroup
315
Picky people pick Peter Pan Peanut Butter.
Peter Pan Peanut is the peanut picky people pick.
316
Ray Rag ran across a rough road.
Across a rough road Ray Rag ran.
Where is the rough road Ray Rag ran across?
317
Elmer Arnold
personal name
318
A Tudor who tooted the flute
tried to tutor two tooters to toot.
Said the two to the tutor,
"Is it harder to toot or
to tutor two tooters to toot?"
319
Mrs Puggy Wuggy has a square cut punt.
Not a punt cut square,
Just a square cut punt.
It's round in the stern and blunt in the front.
Mrs Puggy Wuggy has a square cut punt.
320
Tim, the thin twin tinsmith.
321
Thin sticks, thick bricks
322
Red lorry, yellow lorry.
323
A big black bug bit a big black bear and made the big black bear bleed blood.
324
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood? A woodchuck would chuck how much a woodchuck would chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood.
325
Larry Hurley, a burly squirrel hurler, hurled a furry squirrel through a curly grill.
326
Six twin screwed steel steam cruisers.
327
A nurse anesthetist unearthed a nest.
328
I thought a thought.
But the thought I thought
Wasn't the thought I thought I thought.
If the thought I thought I thought,
Had been the thought I thought,
I wouldn't have thought I thought.
329
She sells sea shells on the seashore.
The seashells she sells are seashells she is sure.
330
From the programmer's desk:
She sells cshs by the C shore.
331
A noise annoys an oyster, but a noisy noise annoys an oyster more!
332
Plain bun, plum bun, bun without plum.
333
Slick slim slippers sliding south.
334
The Leith police dismisseth us
They thought we sought to stay;
The Leith police dismisseth us
They thought we'd stay all day.
The Leith police dismisseth us,
We both sighed sighs apiece;
And the sighs that we sighed as we said goodbye
Were the size of the Leith police.
335
Ah shucks, six stick shifts stuck shut!
336
Meter maid Mary married manly Matthew Marcus Mayo,
a moody male mailman moving mostly metered mail.
337
The king would sing, about a ring that would go ding.
338
How much dough would Bob Dole dole
if Bob Dole could dole dough?
Bob Dole would dole as much dough
as Bob Dole could dole,
if Bob Dole could dole dough.
339
People pledging plenty of pennies.
340
Mares eat oats and does eat oats, but little lambs eat ivy.
from a pre-war English music-hall song
341
To begin to toboggan,
first buy a toboggan.
But don't buy too big a toboggan.
Too big a toboggan is too big a toboggan to buy to begin to toboggan.
342
Courtney Dworkin
personal name
343
Switch watch, wrist watch.
344
Six thick thistle sticks
345
Moses supposes his toeses are roses,
but Moses supposes erroneously.
For Moses, he knowses his toeses aren't roses,
as Moses supposes his toeses to be.
Donald O'Connor and Gene Kelly in "Singing in the rain"
Moses supposes his toeses are roses, But Moses supposes erroneously. For nobody's toeses are poses of roses, As Moses supposes his toeses to be!
346
I wish I were what I was when I wished I were what I am.
347
She sells seashells on the seashore. The seashells she sells are seashore seashells.
348
Irish wristwatch
349
She had shoulder surgery.
350
To put a pipe in byte mode, type PIPE_TYPE_BYTE.
from the Visual C++ help file.
351
Three Tree Turtles
Three tree turtles took turns talking tongue twisters.
If three tree turtles took turns talking tongue twisters,
where's the twisters the three tree turtles talked?
352
My Friend Gladys
Oh, the sadness of her sadness when she's sad.
Oh, the gladness of her gladness when she's glad.
But the sadness of her sadness,
and the gladness of her gladness,
Are nothing like her madness when she's mad!
353
I would if I could, and if I couldn't, how could I?
You couldn't, unless you could, could you?
common school kids nonsense, circa 1910
354
real rear wheel
355
Give me the gift of a grip-top sock,
A clip drape shipshape tip top sock.
Not your spinslick slapstick slipshod stock,
But a plastic, elastic grip-top sock.
None of your fantastic slack swap slop
From a slap dash flash cash haberdash shop.
Not a knick knack knitlock knockneed knickerbocker sock
With a mock-shot blob-mottled trick-ticker top clock.
Not a supersheet seersucker rucksack sock,
Not a spot-speckled frog-freckled cheap sheik's sock
Off a hodge-podge moss-blotched scotch-botched block.
Nothing slipshod drip drop flip flop or glip glop
Tip me to a tip top grip top sock.
articulation warmup for actors
356
National Sheepshire Sheep Association
357
The crow flew over the river with a lump of raw liver.
358
The little red lorry went down Limuru road.
Limuru (Lee-moo-roo) road is a the name of a road in Kenya.
359
Flies fly but a fly flies.
360
Did Doug dig Dick's garden or did Dick dig Doug's garden?
by Paul Davies
361
If a Hottentot taught a Hottentot tot to talk ere the tot could totter, ought the Hottentot tot be taught to say ought or naught or what ought to be taught 'er?
362
How many cans can a canner can if a canner can can cans? A canner can can as many cans as a canner can if a canner can can cans.
363
Federal Express is now called FedEx.
When I retire I'll be a FedEx ex.
But if I'm an officer when I retire, I'll be an ex Fedex Exec.
Then after a divorce, my ex-wife will be an ex FedEx exec's ex.
If I rejoin FedEx in time, I'd be an ex ex FedEx exec.
When we remarry, my wife will be an ex ex FedEx exec's ex.
364
Which witch snitched the stitched switch for which the Swiss witch wished?
by Ann Clark
365
Does this shop sport short socks with spots?
366
Customer: Do you have soothers?
Shopkeeper (thinking he had said "scissors"): No, we don't have scissors.
Customer: Soothers!
Shopkeeper : No, we don't have scissors or soothers.
... scissors or soothers, scissors or soothers, scissors or soothers, ...
actual conversation in a shop in Canada, recorded by Don Monson
367
Tommy, Tommy, toiling in a tailor's shop.
All day long he fits and tucks,
all day long he tucks and fits,
and fits and tucks, and tucks and fits,
and fits and tucks, and tucks and fits.
Tommy, Tommy, toiling in a tailor's shop.
368
No need to light a night-light on a light night like tonight.
You've no need to light a night-light
On a light night like tonight,
For a night-light's light's a slight light,
And tonight's a night that's light.
When a night's light, like tonight's light,
It is really not quite right
To light night-lights with their slight lights
On a light night like tonight.
369
I wish to wish, I dream to dream, I try to try, and I live to live, and I'd die to die, and I cry to cry but I dont know why.
from a Song by Soundgarden named "Somewhere" composed and written by Ben Shepherd
370
My mommy makes me muffins on Mondays.
by Tim McCauley, age 8
371
A real rare whale.
372
Terry Teeter, a teeter-totter teacher, taught her daughter Tara to teeter-totter, but Tara Teeter didn't teeter-totter as Terry Teeter taught her to.
by Pierre Abbat
373
Ken Dodd's dad's dog 's dead.
374
I bought a bit of baking powder and baked a batch of biscuits. I brought a big basket of biscuits back to the bakery and baked a basket of big biscuits. Then I took the big basket of biscuits and the basket of big biscuits and mixed the big biscuits with the basket of biscuits that was next to the big basket and put a bunch of biscuits from the basket into a biscuit mixer and brought the basket of biscuits and the box of mixed biscuits and the biscuit mixer to the bakery and opened a tin of sardines.
Said to be a diction test for would-be radio announcers: To be read clearly, without mistakes, in less than 20 seconds (from Coronet Magazine, August 1948).
375
Kanta is a masai girl. She can tie a tie and untie a tie. If Kanta can tie a tie and untie a tie, why can't I tie a tie and untie a tie?
376
I'm a mother pheasant plucker,
I pluck mother pheasants.
I'm the most pleasant mother pheasant plucker,
to ever pluck a mother pheasant. Actually, ...
I'm Not the pheasant plucker,
I'm the pheasant plucker's son.
But I'll stay and pluck the pheasants
Till the pheasant plucking 's done!
377
If you go for a gopher a gopher will go for a gopher hole.
378
Seven slick and sexy sealskin ski suits slid slowly down the slope.
379
The chief of the Leith police dismisseth us.
380
Fred Threlfall's thirty-five fine threads are finer threads than Fred Threlfall's thirty-five thick threads.
by Anthony Nichols
381
Bug's black blood, Black bug's blood
382
Reed Wade Road
name of a road in Batesville Arkansas
383
Jack's nap sack strap snapped.
384
I saw Esau sitting on a seesaw. I saw Esau; he saw me.
385
A quick witted cricket critic.
386
Hitchcock Hawk Watch Spots Record Raptors
Title of an article in the Neola Gazette
387
Sure, sir, the ship's sure shipshape, sir.
388
The Smothers brothers' father's mother's brothers are
the Smothers brothers' mother's father's other brothers.
389
One Double Dozen Double Damask Dinner Napkins
Name of a sketch written by Dion Titheradge for a London musical revue and originally performed by Cicely Courtneidge in the early 1930's. The comedienne Bea Lillie performed the sketch in an American film starring Bing Crosby in 1938, and that film's name was "Doctor Rhythm". The sketch became famous and Lillie did perform it on numerous occasions on radio, as well as record it on two 78rpm records.
390
The cat crept into the crypt, crapped and crept out.
391
Dear mother,
give your other udder
to my other brother.
392
Blended baby blue bug's blood blotches.
made up watching bugs splatter on the windshield ... ugh!
393
So, this is the sushi chef?
Spoken to a friend in a Japanese restaurant on the chef’s return.
394
Furnish Freddie's nursery with forty-four furry Furby Beanie Babies.
395
Arnold Palmer, Arnold Palmer, Arnold Palmer, ...
name of the famous American golfer
396
A bitter biting bittern bit a better biting bittern
And the better biting bittern bit the bitter biting bittern back.
Said the bitter biting bittern to the better biting bittern
“I’m a bitter biting bittern bitten back”
397
Certified certificates from certified certificate certifiers.
398
Imagine, imagining imagining, an imaginary imaginary imaginary menagerie manager, imagining imagining imagining an imaginary imaginary imaginary managerie.
399
What noise annoys a noisy oyster?
Any noise annoys a noisy oyster,
but a noisy noise annoys a noisy oyster most!
400
We need a plan to fan a pan; find a pan to fan, then find a fan to fan the pan, then fan the pan.
Some Korean students find difficult to pronounce difference between 'f' and 'p'.
401
How many snacks could a snack stacker stack,
if a snack stacker snacked stacked snacks?
by Christine Reynolds
402
Freddy is ready to roast red roaches.
Ready for Freddy's roasted red roaches?
403
Who washed Washington's white woolen underwear when Washington's washer-woman went west?
404
On mules we find two legs behind and two we find before.
We stand behind before we find what those behind be for.
405
Three grey geese
In a green field grazing,
Grey were the geese
And green was the grazing.
406
Susie sits shinning silver shoes
407
Ralph rakes leaves really, really lousily.
for Japanese students of English
408
Lady Luck dislikes losers.
for Japanese students of English
409
Broken back brake block
410
Mumbling, bumbling. Bumbling, mumbling.
411
Of all the felt I ever felt I never felt felt that felt like that felt felt.
412
They hatch fish at the state fish hatchery and sell hatched fish to the fish stick factory.
by Kevin Brown
413
In pine tar is. In oak none is. In mud eels are. In clay none is.
If read fast, it sounds like gibberish.
414
The sixth sick sheik's sixth sick sheep.
The sixth sick sheikh's sixth sheep's sick.
The sixth sick Sikh's sixth sheep is sick.
415
Thirty-six thick silk threads
416
Silly shoe-fly pie fans sell chilly shoe-fly pie pans.
417
Kantai can tie a tie. If Kantai can tie a tie,
why can't I tie a tie like Kantai can tie a tie.
418
The two-toed tree toad tried to tread where the three-toed tree toad trod.
419
Tricky Tristan tracked a trail of tiny turtles.
How many tiny turtles did Tricky Tristan track?
Tricky Tristan tracked twenty two tiny turtles;
that's how many tiny turtles tricky Tristan tracked.
420
Esau Wood saw a wood saw, saw wood, as no wood saw would saw wood. If Esau Wood saw a wood saw, saw wood, as no wood saw would saw wood, where is the wood saw witch would saw wood, as no wood saw would saw wood.
421
You're behaving like a babbling, bumbling band of baboons.
from Harry Potter
422
Iranian Uranium
423
Giddy kiddy goat,
Giddy kiddy goat,
Giddy, giddy, giddy, giddy, giddy, kiddy goat.
424
He wanted to desert his dessert in the desert!
425
If a Hottentot tot taught a Hottentot tot to talk before the tot would totter, ought the Hottentot tot be taught to say ought, or naught, or what ought to be taught the Hottentot tot? If to hoot and to toot a Hottentot tot be taught by a Hottentot tutor, should the tutor get hot if the Hottentot tot hoots and toots at the Hottentot tutor?
426
There was a writer called Wright, he taught his son to write Wright right:
"It's not right to write Wright 'Rite', please try to write Wright right!"
427
Very rare vagrant wader
a "vagrant wader" is a wading bird that is not typical to a particular region
428
Crash Quiche Course
429
I broke a brickbat and a brickbat broke me.
430
A wooden worm wouldn't be worthy of worship but would he if he wondered and worried about what he would be worthy of if he wasn't wooden?
by Samy Gosselin
431
Give papa a cup of proper coffee in a copper coffee cup.
432
Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely.
433
Farrell's features fabulous food 'n' fantastic fountain fantasies for frolicking, fun-filled festive families.
434
Who holds Joe's nose when he blows? Joe knows.
435
A singly circularly linked list.
436
The Final Fixing of the Foolish Fugitive
Feeling footloose, fancy-free and frisky, this feather-brained fellow finagled his fond father into forking over his fortune. Forthwith, he fled for foreign fields and frittered his farthings feasting fabulously with fair-weather friends. Finally, fleeced by those folly filled fellows and facing famine, he found him-self a feed flinger in a filthy farm-lot. He fain would have filled his frame with foraged food from fodder fragments.
"Fooey! My father's flunkies fare far fancier," the frazzled fugitive fumed feverishly, frankly facing fact.
Frustrated from failure and filled with forebodings, he fled for his family. Falling at his father's feet, he floundered forlornly. "Father, I have flunked and fruitlessly forfeited further family favors . . ."
But the faithful father, forestalling further flinching, frantically flagged his flunkies to fetch forth the finest fatling and fix a feast.
But the fugitive's fault finding frater, faithfully farming his father's fields for free, frowned at this fickle forgiveness of former falderal. His fury flashed, but fussing was futile.
His foresighted father figured, "Such filial fidelity is fine, but what forbids fervent festivities? The fugitive is found! Unfurl the flags! With fanfare flaring, let fun, frolic and frivolity flow freely, former failures forgotten and folly forsaken."
Forgiveness forms a firm foundation for future fortitude.
(Sir John Hensch of London)
437
Thirty-three thousand feathers on a thrushes throat.
438
四十是四十
四十不是十四
十四不是四十
十四是十四
sìshí shì sìshí
sìshí bǔ shì shísì
shísì bǔ shì sìshí
shísì shì shísì
439
When I went to Warsaw, I saw a saw that could outsaw any saw that I ever saw. Now, if you go to Warsaw and see a saw that could outsaw the saw I saw, I'd like to see your saw saw.
440
If practice makes perfect and perfect needs practice,
I’m perfectly practiced and practically perfect.
by Karen and Alyse Ferry
441
Six Czech cricket critics
442
Rubber Berber Gerber™ Burger
An ersatz North African taste treat ...
443
Lucid Lou slued loose the sluice that slew the slough.
444
In Hertford, Hereford and Hampshire hurricanes hardly ever happen.
from My Fair Lady the musical based upon George Bernard Shaw's Pygmalion
445
Thomas Tattamus took two T's to tie two tots to two tall trees.
446
Hercules, a hardy hunter, hunted a hare in the Hampshire Hills. Hit him on the head with a hard, hard hammer and he howled horribly!
447
Frank's fisher fishes on Friday for Frank's Friday fresh fried fish-fest.
by Steven Combs
448
I saw a saw in Warsaw. Of all the saws I ever saw I never saw a saw that could saw, like the saw I saw in Warsaw.
449
Dick had a dog,
the dog dug,
the dog dug deep,
how deep did Dick's dog dig?
Dick had a duck,
the duck dived,
the duck dived deep,
how deep did Dick's duck dive?
Dick's duck dived as deep as Dick's dog dug!
by Alexandra Hunt (11 years old)
450
It's a nice night for a white rice fight.
451
If a fella met a fella in a field of fitches
Can a fella tell a fella where a fella itches?
452
I feel a feel a funny feel a funny feel feel I,
If I feel a funny feel a funny feel feel I.
453
Never trust
a sloppy crust,
a squally gust,
ships that rust,
or girls with lust.
But if you must,
you may trust
to go bust,
and back to dust,
which serves you just.
on board of a Victory Ship in the 1940s
454
A sad story about Nobody
This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realised that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody, when Nobody did, what Anybody could have done.
455
Mr Knott and Mr Watt on the Phone
Hello?
Who's calling?
Watt.
What's your name?
Watt's my name.
Yes, what is your name?
My name is John Watt.
John what?
Yes.
... I'll call on you this afternoon.
All right, are you Jones?
No, I'm Knott.
Will you tell me your name, then?
Will Knott.
Why not?
My name is Knott.
Not what?
Not Watt. Knott.
What?
456
Round brown bread
the Indian bread "Roti"
457
grip glue, grip glue, grip glue, ...
458
Bob's pop-up blocker blocks Bob's pop-ups.
459
Chill, Shake, Serve, ...
460
M. R. Ducks
M.R. not Ducks
O. S. M. R.
L. I'll B.
M. R. Ducks!
461
How much cash could a sasquatch stash if a sasquatch could stash cash?
by Janet Cashman-Shipman and family
462
A cunning young canner from Canning
Once observed to his granny,
"A canner can can
a lot of things gran,
But a canner can't can a can, can he?"
463
How many ducks could a duck duct-tape, if a duck could duct-tape ducks?
464
Bad dead bed-bugs bleed bug blood.
by Mimi Routh
465
Upper roller, lower roller,
upper roller, lower roller,
upper roller, lower roller, ...
466
Bill had a billboard, Bill also had a board bill. The billboard bored Bill so Bill sold the billboard to pay for the board bill.
467
Washington's wash woman washed Washington's wash while Washington's wife went west.
468
Faith's face cloth, Faith's face cloth, Faith's face cloth, ...
by Monica Holmes-Lauder
469
Deer, deer, oh dear, oh dear,
your career as a deer is over here
no, no, oh no, although
your career as a skellytun's begun.
The Roadkill Song
470
The sixth sick Sikh's sixth sheep is sick.
471
Click, clap, pluck, ...
472
Mister Twister's tongue twisters, ...
473
Hum-min-a, Hum-min-a, Hum-min-a, ...
sometimes said by Jackie Gleason in "The Honeymooners"
474
Mud bug, mud bug, mud bug, ...
475
Polish it in the corner. Polish it in the corner. Polish it in the corner. ...
476
I gratefully gazed at the gracefully grazing gazelles.
477
Really very weary, really very weary, really very weary, ...
478
The sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep 's sick.
variation of the famous tongue twister
479
Thrushcross Grange
the name of the Linton's house in "Wuthering Heights" by Emily Brontë
480
Six sticky skeletons, six sticky skeletons, six sticky skeletons, ...
481
Sheila is selling her shop at the seashore
For shops at the seashore are so sure to lose
And she’s not so sure of what she should be selling
Should Sheila sell seashells or should she sell shoes
Danny Kaye song, arround 1930
482
A canner exceedingly canny,
One morning remarked to his granny,
A canner can can,
Anything that he can,
But a canner can't can a can; can he?
© Win Ivin
483
She sat upon a balcony, inimicably mimicking him hiccuping and amicably welcoming him in.
484
I can't believe that "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!" is actually a butter that I can't believe is not butter.
"I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!" is a butter substitute produced by Becel/Flora/Promise, a subsidiary of Unilever.
485
You name it, we claim it. If we can't get it, we'll send you to get it. If we can't send you to get it, forgit it. Who's got it, if we don't got it?
from the 1960's
486
If your Bob doesnt give our Bob that bob
That your Bob owes our Bob
Our Bob will give your Bob
a bob in the eye
487
V: Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. [carves V into poster on wall]
V: The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. [giggles]
V: Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.
from the screenplay of the movie "V for Vendetta", at the beginning, when V meets Evie for the first time
488
Shep Schwab shopped at Scott's Schnapps shop;
One shot of Scott's Schnapps stopped Schwab's watch.
489
Three sweet switched Swiss witches watch three washed Swiss witch Swatch watch switches. Which sweet switched Swiss witch watches, which washed Swiss witch Swatch watch switch?
490
Julie judges Judy, Judy judges Julie, Julie judges Judy... they're in a bad moody, because Julie judges Judy, Judy judges Julie, Julie judges Judy...
491
If you could scoop the black poops poopy poop, how much poop would you scoop of the black poops poop?
492
Theodore thought fun things from throne, Frustrated, furious Theodore forcefully threw throne, Thinking of thrown throne, forlorn Theodore felt foolish.
493
The throng of thermometers from the Thuringian Thermometer Folks arrived on Thursday. There were a thousand thirty-three thick thermometers, though, instead of a thousand thirty-six thin thermometers, which was three thermometers fewer than the thousand thirty-six we were expecting, not to mention that they were thick ones rather than thin ones. We thoroughly thought that we had ordered a thousand thirty-six, not a thousand thirty-three, thermometers, and asked the Thuringian Thermometer Folks to reship the thermometers; thin, not thick. They apologized for sending only a thousand thirty-three thermometers rather than a thousand thirty six and promised to replace the thick thermometers with thin thermometers.
494
The Tan Man: A fashionably tan man sat casually at the bat stand, lashing a handful of practice bats. The manager, a crabby old bag of bones, passed by and laughed, “You’re about average Jack. Can’t you lash faster than that?” Jack had enough, so he clambered to his feet and lashed bats faster than any man ever lashed bats. As a matter of fact, he lashed bats so fast that he seemed to dance. The manager was aghast. “Jack, you’re a master bat lasher!” he gasped. Satisfied at last, Jack sat back and never lashed another bat.
495
The Vile VIP: When revising his visitor’s version of a plan for a very well paved avenue, the VIP was advised to reveal none of his motives. Eventually, however, the hapless visitor discovered his knavish views and confided that it was vital to review the plans together to avoid a conflict. The VIP was not convinced, and averred that he would have it vetoed by the vice president. This quite vexed the visitor, who then vowed to invent an indestructible paving compound in order to avenge his good name. The VIP found himself on the verge of a civil war with a visitor with whom he had previously conversed easily. It was only due to his insufferable vanity that the inevitable division arrived as soon as it did. Never again did the visitor converse with the vain VIP and they remained divided forever.
Monday, April 11, 2011
SUBJECT VERB AGREEMENT
001. His writing (is, are) full of pretentious and self-indulgent verbiage. ANS. IS
002.
002.
CAN YOU READ THIS!
If you can raed tihs, you hvae a sgtrane mnid, too. Can you raed tihs? Olny ftfiy fvie plepoe out of herdund can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! If you can raed tihs forwrad it. If you can raed tihs, yuor biarn is 50% fetsar tahn tsohe who cna't. If You Can Raed Tihs, You Msut Be Raelly Smrat.
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